Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sun Day

Moses looks for mouse.
click to see his fine nose and coat.

the Flint Hills farmland by mary todd

A sunshadow by mary todd  photos by mary Todd

Self Defense: Blaming (Anyone) and Theoretical truth - Do Not Stop Rape

 For a change of pace, here is an interesting website to peruse. They bring up the "folly"
  of  those who say that
a woman has a right to walk into a bar naked and not get assaulted.
(Of course, what i have said is that IF a woman walks (across campus) naked, that does NOT give anyone else the right to assault her.

Two different things.
So, i am trying to get rid of this victim blaming (which the victim does to herself, without having walked into a bar naked, but perhaps simply having had a beer with a casual friend and being drugged and raped) ---whereas
they are trying to be practical, and prevent rape, period, from the victim's behavior, hence the title, no nonsense self defense.)
So- Let us allow these two avenues--
One is the theoretical discussion of right and wrong, of good and evil, of hope and culture change and working toward justice.
The other is the real-life, practical guide to staying safe in an unsafe world.
Without considering Fairness, etc.--simply staying safe and away from criminals.
The second one is the focus of this nnsd webpage page

You might get upset reading some of the coments on this page.
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/rape.html
however, here is the link to the domestic violence/stalking part: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/stalking.html
which i found very useful.
and here is a lil somsin about "the rapist": http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/profile.html
and about a SURVIVING mindset: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/mental_preparation.htm
If you take this site as a means to educate and PREVENT crime, not a theoretical investigation, there is a lot of good material here. Here's the criminal mindset: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/criminalmindset.html
 Just another site to learn from, which is not quite mainstream, and worth a look. Your dad will like this.
see how generalizations provoke?
here is something from the site: 

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Winter Birds, Redtailed Hawks, and A Dog Who Forgets Me plus Yesterday's Moon

A day
    a funny round bright spot in the sky,
                                illuminating all the earth's stuff.
new batts in the cam.
A sweet
             Sweet dog
    who loves and is loved by me, who seems to forget who i am every time we meet.
so every time he crosses the road to see what's what, he has to go through his
 "Do I Trust You" routine.
he is HIlarious   there is a koan here.
 ( i lightened the exposure on acoupla his pics as he is so coal black detail can be lost)

Click to enlarge. the hawk pics are at my max zoom and very far away.

sweetest Red tailed hawk over native ground by mtodd

sweetest redtailed hawk from a distance by mtodd



Sweetest redtailed Hawk Flies Over Native Ground mtodd



sweetest redtail flying


yesterday's moon by mtodd

yesterday's moon by mtodd


Good Boy!




sweetest early onset dementia

wait a sec- do i know you?


Danger! intruder!

come see who's this!



Beauty Eyes.



What?





Never mind




Red tailed hawk is BIG, Dig?

sweetest sparrows from far away marytodd
Unretouched. birds roost on burn pile across the feild


Pics from the late fall of same subjects:
sweet dementia last summer


Juvenile red tailed hawk HERE

everybodyseverywhere (EVERYBODY'SEVERYWHERE

If the Liberal and the Right did not each think they were Correct and in fact with Truth on their Side, they would not act with such anger, passion, disdain, cunning, arrogance, and courage.

They each of course have a Gaping Flaw and a Real Strength.

it kind of reminds me of Sternberg's work with parenting styles and the quadrant formed by two factors: Warmth/Generosity/Affection/Involvement and Structure/Discipline/Supervision/Expectations.

There is nuzzling and sweetness and purr noises and stroking and feeding and and petting and nuzzling and protecting and eating ticks and nits off backs and washing and rubbing and kissing and babytalking and encouraging and indulging and nuzzling and holding (maybe a tiny feeling of cloistersmother)
good...
and

There is instruction and teaching and a giving of tools and tricks and trades and wisdoms and Lessons and discipline and self denial and truth and delay and independence and growth and denial and reward  (maybe a tiny bit of pain)
good...
and

i am coming back to this later

Friday, February 26, 2010

A Pretty Lil SumsinSomesin for Friday (click to enlarge)

Flint Hills Deer Jumping Through Summer Soybeans

K-State Women Center Staph are Phine



Colory Girls are Pretty

Scuse me while i kiss the sky

Aren'tcha Glad its friday


Useful Transactions in Philosophy

Either you know the password or you don’t;
Guessing is useless, guesses get you nowhere.
Sands of the desert! And God knows the language
Is hard enough to speak, let alone write.
When I approached the grille in the plate glass
The shy Jamaican shook her smiling head.
“Sorry, but that is last week’s word,” she said.
Once or twice I was privy to the secret,

But not for long; and again there were knots
Of snake-haired girls whispering in the shadows
At the farther end of the classroom corridor.
 In the financial district I looked down
From the visitors’ gallery at the war
And camaraderie of the market floor.

At the theatre we often took a box
(“Steering clear of infection,” said my mother).
Yes, champagne was provided for the coterie,

But I sat soberly alongside, watching
The golden apples fly from hand to hand

As ingénue Russian princesses played

In the walled garden where the pacts were made.

Impossible, of course, to speak with nabobs
Or reclusive grandees holed up in palaces;
From them belonging is part of genetics.
Acquiescence is looked for, eyes on the ground.
Just follow the trail of elephant dung

Along yesterday’s ceremonial way
While golden boys and girls go out to play.
--Fergus Allen



a young woman waits

peace and freedom -- (horses and dogs)

Do you make decisions
    and plans while you are in a wise mode

Learning pondering
Keeping to those earned insights and decisions later

A bit against your will

Or do you
Have a beginner’s mind each time
And allow that every single moment is a new context
And no preplanning is necessary or even wise?

That is,

Do you repeat mistakes
or learn something from them
something hard and fixed?

Did you realize red lipstick looks crazy, purple hats are loony, and never allow yourself to wear them? No
Running
when you     feel like it     across campus, in your non-running clothing

Speak your mind out loud, making "a fool of oneself"

One time
Oh I’ll never do that again.
What is wisdom what is comfort what is fear
what is Image Management
mtodd 2007


a horse by mary todd





"Horse" by mary Todd




good spot mtodd
A Very Good Spot - mtodd

Part 3: Student Stories and Feedback: Aggieville, Manhattan Serial Rapist,Violence, crime at KSU

student quotes, advice, stories about crime, safety, friends and wolves in sheep's clothing

Although i believe that K-State is as safe or safer than any other U.S. campus, until people talk about the crimes that do happen, including the silent ongoing crimes (which tend to be violence against women), quiet epidemics will remain.
Here are just a few of the types of crimes that are sadly, typical--and i know you rarely hear of them.
1) Rapes: --A man rapes a new K-State student in the bathroom at Last Chance. There are no locks on the stalls. (After having this pointed out to management several times, 3 years later there were still no locks on the stalls or the door.)- This event sparked the formation of W.A.R. -- Wildcats Against Rape. http://www.k-state.edu/womenscenter/W.A.R/W.A.R.htm
 
--Man who became acquainted with woman dancing at Silverado’s offers woman ride home as she is too intoxicated to drive. He takes her to an apartment near Silverado’s where she is gang raped.
--A manager of Silverado’s is charged with raping an underage woman whom he has served alcohol in his bar after hours.
 --A woman walks home from Aggieville, her house is less than one block away. A man follows her and pushes her door in as she enters, rapes her.
--a young woman steps out into the ally behind a bar to get a breath of air; an athlete she thought was a friendly acquaintance follows her out and quickly, brutally rapes her against a brick wall and leaves her in shock.

--Two men are victims of rape by men (separate occasions) in Aggieville this past year, and require medical intervention.

2) Druggings: From 2005-2007 I received several reports of random druggings (no assault or theft, but individuals who after one drink are sick and unable to control their bodies. Three of these were of middle age professionals, not students). Evidence pointed to bartenders as perpetrators in some cases.
--About 25-30% of the sexual assaults during these years appear to involve a drug being given. Some resulted in sexual battery, some in rape.
3) Sexual battery: I had 3 reports in the last year of young women who, while in a very crowded bar, experienced a man putting hands under their dresses, into their underwear and into their bodies. For another student this happened while she was climbing into a car while in Aggieville. In one case, the woman saw who the perpetrator was and asked the bouncer to call the police; he merely laughed. (Tubby's) She had to use a great deal of assertiveness to press this issue with the manager. The perpetrator in this case was charged (and had other crimes pending).
This past year, two men drank drinks that were apparently druggesd, and destined for two women that had just left and. One man passed out (in the cold) and woke up outside of McCain Auditorium; the other also lost memory or control of himself for several hours.
4) Sexual harassment: many women have reported they no longer go to Aggieville due to the heavy sexual harassment they receive at night.

5) Beatings: I have worked with men who have been beaten as they leave Aggieville. I have had several reports that stealing a G.I.’s dog tags is a game among certain fraternities/groups.

6) Robbing/Mugging: Reports common in the dark areas  from Thurston to Kearney and Moro this past year.

There is currently an Aggieville Safety Task Force meeting regularly to address these and other issues in order to make the area safer for all. We have good, generous Aggieville merchants on this committe (along with city and student goverment, military and k-state reps) who work hard to help in this area. Unfortunately, many of the places that need to be involved most are not interested. We will be rating establishments and posting problems by name soon. If you have information you'd like to talk about or questions regarding this, please contact me.




i guess we all do what we can where we can. a big phat thanks to all who help.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sadness- Rape on College Campuses: A struggle for Justice

You want to hear about Real Life Campus rape? 

here is an NPR story, so very sad  to hear. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124001493


What Are Men Like Under Duress? Harry Reid and Leonard Pitts Views on Men

What are men like
under trials, tribulations, duress?
And, can we really make such sweeping generalizations??
is it OK to make statements once considered to be sexist, racist, ageist, as long as you are on the PC side? what is now pc?

according to harry reid:
  http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/harry-reid-tells-us-what-men-are-like.html

according to Leonard Pitts: 

Thoughts on Men, Manhood from a Proud Dad Leonard J. Pitts Jr. Mcclatchy Newspapers / Miami Herald Posted: Thursday, February 18, 2010 12:00 am
"And - which is more - you'll be a man, my son!" - from "If" by Rudyard Kipling

Lena had a fever. It had spiked to 104 degrees and brought with it seizures, spasms of movement that terrified her parents. They called 911.
But paramedics could not reach their door; the epic blizzard raking greater Washington had rendered their hillside street impassable. So Lena's parents bundled her up and walked her down. They rode with her in the ambulance through a city leached of color - no more vibrant reds, blues or greens, just the stark gray of the sky and the brilliant white of the snow.

Snow changes the world. It muffles sound, softens hard angles into graceful curves, drives people inside. Snow imposes a stillness. As they crossed this desolate new landscape, Lena's parents had plenty of time to worry.
Thankfully, doctors were able to bring the fever down. But then, Lena's parents realized a new problem; they were stranded at the hospital in a city that had ceased to move. Worse, they were stranded without diapers and baby food, which, in their rush, they had left at home. Nor could they borrow any from the hospital, which said its own supplies were low. So Lena's father had just one option.
I happened to catch him on his cell phone a few minutes later. His breathing was ragged, and I asked him what was wrong. He said he was hiking through the storm - it was a mile or two to the nearest store, and the snowdrifts already were up to his knees - hoping it would be open and that it would have diapers and baby food for his 11-month-old daughter.

I have seldom been prouder of any of my children than I was in that moment of my first-born son.

We - and here, I mean both he and I as father and son and you and I as a society - have talked a lot in recent years about the meaning of manhood in an era of women ascendant and cracked glass ceilings. Some of us insist that meaning is found in a man's toughness, his imperviousness to slings and arrows and feelings like pain or love. Some believe it is found in a man's violence, his capacity to hit and kick with force, to shield and defend what matters to him. Some argue that it is found in a man's strength, his ability to lift and carry, to push and to break.

I've always felt none of those things matters unless they are in service to something that matters more. Like going for diapers in a horizontal snow.

I don't mean to mythologize or overpraise something that is, after all, just a father's duty. But it is hard not to feel a certain satisfaction when I consider how many fathers fail that duty.

And when I wonder how many women were slogging through that same snowstorm, having bought into the lie that holds fathers as optional parents who contribute nothing to the family that a determined woman can't replicate.
And when I remember the times I preached exasperated sermons to that same son for posturing and preening like something he saw in a rap video, walking with an unearned swagger and acting as if this made him a man. Growing older has changed him. Lena, I think, has changed him more. Owning responsibility for that vulnerable little life has forced him to reconsider manhood itself.
We used to have a saying: It takes a man to make a baby. I'm beginning to think that, at least for some of us, the opposite is true: It takes a baby to make a man.

Lena, by the way, is doing fine.      E-mail Leonard Pitts Jr.at lpitts@miamiherald.com

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Pornography, Modern Man, and TV --(Part 2)

what you look at
once twice a lot assimilates into you and suggests what you are like on the inside

Think about it.
as you walk about manifesting who you are

Manifesting yourself
into the Pool of the Planet.

     Pornography part one and Naomi wolf
the porn myth  click HERE

Pornography 


Once
was not passionatelydefended
in the
public square

as a Noble Right
(A sign of fresh clean
Glorious health)
 Pornography
Once did not
seduce
the majority of men
[its vile nature obvious
to men of honor,
Character, intelligence;

good-hearted men &
men who truly love
women ]

Men who truly loved women (and honor)
were abhorred by it
& Quickly turned away as if from a toxic

fume,
[with a prayer if a true Lion-hearted
Man for all deceived by its malicious web]

Porn Once

did not have a nickname

A warm spot
in the hearts of our

favorite   tv    
          Friends.


Now,


the wolf has

prettied up
its wooly clothing,

calling all into the corral


and is ready to
shut the gate.






m todd 2007
research overwhelmingly indicates:
Pornography is not good for you; it is not good for us.


a recent column as weary folks try to sound an alarm bell:

Porn and Valentine's Day  By L. Brent Bozell · Friday, February 19, 2010

Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday this year, which could be celebrated as a day where our lifelong romantic love builds a foundation for our families and our faith. Or, to television executives, it could be a holiday for infidelity and pornography.
The cable channel G4 -- little known except to video-game junkies, including young boys -- announced they would host a "Romance-Free Valentine's Day," where viewers "looking for an escape from the mush can turn to the only network that will showcase unfaithful lovers and naughty adult superstars to commemorate Cupid's holy day."
After an all-day marathon of the show "Cheaters," which exposes affairs -- the channel promoted it as "13 hours of fistfights, screaming, and the most extreme relationship drama imaginable" -- came a two-hour special touring and promoting the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, hosted by porn star Sasha Grey.

Grey is a key figure in the current campaign to take porn into the mainstream. Director Stephen Soderbergh cast her last year in his art film "The Girlfriend Experience," which thankfully never made it into the suburban multiplexes despite rave reviews from film critics like Roger Ebert.... The AEE show, which aired from 10 p.m. to midnight (Eastern time), warned viewers of sexual content and carried a rating of TV-14, as if 14-year-old boys won't be shocked by what followed -- a seamy underworld of smut.
The programming geniuses ran this special with almost no commercials, which shows that they knew this concept was commercially radioactive, but their ardor for making a perverse "splash" won out. Is this the kind of channel that most families would choose to put in their cable package? Or is it just another smutty channel we pay for even if we avoid it like a bad neighborhood?

This is not a "pay cable" channel. This is a regular cable channel majority-owned by Comcast, the incoming owners of NBC. Comcast clearly isn't nervous that this kind of sleaze will endanger its merger bid before Congress.
Within a few minutes of the show's opening credits, Grey stripped (briefly) for the camera and hopped into a bubble bath. A few minutes later, the routine was repeated by another porn star. At one point, Grey changed outfits in front of the camera -- pointless except for the pixilated nudity. Near the special's end, Grey rode a mechanical bull, except it was costumed as a giant pink representation of the male anatomy.

This causes almost the entire frame to be pixilated. There was almost endless pixilation in this special, but it's not meant to maintain a sense of dignity. There was no dignity at this convention. It was just another way of teasing the viewer into buying the products advertised at the "mind-blowing booths," as G4 promoted a long list of sex toys, "real dolls," puppy and bunny masks, and even "fairly priced bondage gear."
Some moments were ridiculous, like when one porn star named "Stormy" likened her tours of strip joints as "kind of like going to see Santa at the mall ... and you get to hold my boobs."

But some of it was just sickening. Perhaps the lowest moment of this low special is Grey proudly touting a new product she calls the "Sasha Grey Deep Penetration Vibrating Something Something that I cannot say on camera." It's a simulated plastic version of Grey's lower torso for sale.
G4 even promoted the Mustang Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada. G4 host Blair Herter traveled to the site, going through the motions of how he would order a prostitute and browse the menu of services offered.
This degrading spectacle thoroughly demonstrated that pornography is naturally "romance free" and an antidote to the "mush" of Valentine's Day. It's a sick joke that the "world's first sex robot" was promoted on this special in Orwellian terms, as "True Companion." True love, true romance and true companions are not found when sex is just a momentary thrill exchanged for money. But that's not the lesson that game-playing teenagers will learn from watching cable television.
COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM


btw,   there are more adult "bookstores" than McDonalds. addicts spend!!

PORN ADDICTION is the number one addiction seen by therapists now and

responsible for massive increase in negative impact on partnerships and children
-- you can find the research.
And, Oh, please let’s not hide behind pencil-thin academic arguments and self-serving
justifications. Pornography is clearly demeaning to all involved, a painful
statement about how we take care of each other, a horrendous desecration and
lessening of something fabulous and mystical---there is no Body of Research
to suggest that pornography is helpful or useful in any way—to the contrary.
Did you know that psychological studies show that men who view pornography
rate their girlfriends more negatively in a variety of factors than men who don’t?
That men who view
porn are less likely to convict a rapist in court experiments?

Why bother to debate? Ok, perhaps every generation must find itself/the truth.







MORE re Porn HERE and    HERE