Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"Do you really want to ruin his life?"

No one can predict the future. Maybe reporting a person who raped you will SAVE his life.
When a crime victim is asked,
Do you really want to ruin his life????

(after cleaning up,)
head explode

i urge crime victims to consider:

--Not that your life is derailed,

-----Not that you have an std

(not that you think your virginity was just stolen)


Not that your parents are weeping and trying not to become vigilantes..

no, i urge you to consider:

What if you reporting your rapist will save his life?
what if reporting your rapist will save another's life?

what if reporting your rapist is the one point in all of history that he will have to face the light?

You must in fact consider what you need to do for yourself, what kind of woman do you want to be right now, what can you do to be the person you want to be. What do you want to do for your daughter, your sister, your mother.
 It is your decision.
Do not let some magical thinking that you can predict the future--
Do not let a police officer or another person's weird question keep you from doing something you want to do.

How do you talk to a rapist?



  1. Hello Mary, In the other posts I have let you know about my thoughts, about the slut walk statementsso I will let that stand..

    In the case of this what I have to say may surprise you...There should be no question if somebody was raped she or he NEEDS TO REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY!!!!! The sooner the better, especially from standpoint of evidence, I cannot stress enough time is critical, for the chances of conviction....Do not wait a month or a week or a day...After reporting it GET HELP and counseling, because the most important step is going to be the healing process, because to internalize that suffering and pain will damage you emoitionally for life...

    One last thing for Mary...

    Your last comment about your feelings about false accusations in the slut walk comments posts..really made me feel good..it is rare to find a feminist or somebody with feminist leanings to have an open mind about things outside the narrative..that is a rare thing..thank you, thank you, thank you......., and judging from this blog, I do not think you try to divide gender..again another rarity(in a good way, I assure you)....As before I do not think that you hate Men or that the comments made by the Slut Walkers (on the posters) were an expression by you to be as such. I still stand by my statement that I do think the comments on those posters are hate speech against men, but I don't think that reflects your views...

    With lots of repect.

    PS: Can you put up more funny pictures of Cats?

    1. Thanks, and there are so many funny cats on this blog I'm surprised this site doesn't Meow when opened...
      i need to say there is a lot of backlash when reporting to the police--sometimes. Sometimes there is worse trauma than the assault. It is true. That is why i don't tell people they should or shouldn't report.
      I do not call myself a feminist. Why do you?

  2. @KatyToldNovember 27, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    Well, if the Blog went Meow, everytime you opened it, I would get some help, or look for a virus on your computer...LOL

    When you say backlash are talking about the questioning that Law Enforcement does? Or when the accuser gets publically blamed/Vilefied? Or comments on what the victims wears? I suppose it would depend on what was said on based on the indivivual case, and what would considered backlash....What I would call back lash, is the poster in the other thread who was told that she was told that she enjoyed it....So yes depending upon the individual case or circumstances surrounding it I can see the point of the danger of backlash...

    After viewing your blog and some of the posts that are within it, and the fact that you work in a women center, I made the assumption that you were a feminist or at least have feminist leanings....Especially when you post about rape prevention, it seems to take a very feminist slant. Now, I know after really reading through your blog that you are not a feminist....and I said to denigrate you and I apologize for that...truly

    The comment of making feminist or femininsm a dirty word, is because of things like what Slutwalk says, or what many feminist have said in the past and now in relation to men....What the actions that Feminist lobby groups and Organizations have put into law...When Feminist (Organziations and Individuals) have used questionable research and statstics that fit a narrative based upon Patriarchal Theory, to spread hysteria about different issues and create a narrative of women being ALWAYS the victim and Men ALWAYS the preputrater. After a while Men (and yes even some women) like me get really sick of being demonized in this way. And I think this is why Feminism is sometimes used as a dirty word.....But sometimes preception is not always what reality is...

    These exchanges were pretty educational to say the least..We should do this again, because discourse, and understanding put together can always result in more knowledge..

    By the way: MORE FUNNY CATS