In response to the victim-blaming in some classses here lately (and on the internets) two comments-- (copied below) from the nets, which will inspire me to write an entire pamphlet for men and women who for some reason do not blame the rapist for raping women;
that is,
the Crime belongs to the criminal.
i don't care if it is a drug addled, naked, stinking drunk crackwhore walking down aggieville with a "hurt me" sign nailed into her back:
if YOU decide to go commit a felony, DON'T Blame HER!
another person's behavior has nothing to do with your decision to commit an indecent, immoral, illegal, and shameful act.
what if she was 12 years old? what if he had a mental disorder or was a homeless little five year old?
Where does a person draw the line? why take away the personal Sovereignty of another? why be a selfish cad on purpose!!
from "amy's advice:"
-------
"Now, I'm not blaming the rapist or anything, but he did make several HUGE mistakes that night that could have decreased his chances of raping someone. First, he went to a party, where he knew there were going to be women who had been drinking. Second, he led one of those women to believe that he wouldn't rape her, and last, once he was alone with her he chose to go against her wishes and raped her anyway.
It's only natural for young women to go out and get drunk at parties; you'll never be able to stop all of them. So it's very bad judgment for any man to go to a party if he thinks he might be capable of raping someone while there. We need to focus on teaching men what they can do to avoid assaulting anyone.
I know it's hard to tell young men that all women are potential victims and that therefore they should stay away from all of them, but that's the price you have to pay to stay safe. Most women out there are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, but it's the few who might be led to trust you that you have to watch out for. Since there is no way to distinguish between the women who won't and the women who will trust you, you just need to avoid them all.
I understand that believing there was nothing he could have done can help a rapist to feel better about himself; the fact is, that if he'd taken better precautions, he could have walked away a non-rapist.
---
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission, and respect the answer the first time, you are giving MEN a bad name. Stop doing that!.
finally let me print once more,
A CHALLENGE TO MY BROTHERS FROM A LAKOTA MAN
Be A True Lakota Man. (slightly edited) Speak Out About Rape George Twiss Management Team Cangleska, Inc.
RAPE is a violent, selfish, degrading, and illegal act. As a man, if your sister, mother, daughter, girlfriend, wife, niece, aunt, friend, co-worker, grandmother, daughter/niece of a friend, or close acquaintance is RAPED, you feel anger and compassion. As a Lakota man, the RAPE of any woman should bring about the same feelings. As a Lakota man, you should be working to make sure this problem in our communities is taken seriously by police and the Court. You should take a stance to protect our women from some of us who have no respect for the sacredness of women and their rights to the security of their own bodies. I challenge you to take that stand and have the courage to tell those of your brothers who need to be reminded that RAPE is not right and not the way of our people. RAPE is a weapon that has been used against our women. It is not our way. For those who make inappropriate jokes about RAPE or feel that a woman is responsible for what happens to her, tell them that no woman asks to be RAPED. Remind them thatWE AS MEN CAN MAKE WOMEN SAFE FROM RAPE BY DOING THE FOLLOWING:
If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt or shorts, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 a.m., don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of petting or sex, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If a woman smiles at you and walks out with you at the powwow, don’t rape her.
If you find a woman broke down along the highway, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and he's not your
friend.
If your friend tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your friend or relative at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs
and it's your turn, don't rape her. Call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends, it's not okay to RAPE. Don't imply that the woman could have avoided rape if only she'd done or not done something. Don't imply that it was in any way her fault. Don't be silent when he boasts he "got some" while she was passed out. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that men who RAPE have no control over or responsibility for their actions.
Be A True Lakota Man. (slightly edited) Speak Out About Rape George Twiss Management Team Cangleska, Inc.
Who you think you are, be really. Peace Love Compassion Anger Fear Judgment Basket Bucket Honor Crime Rape Integrity Grace DisGrace Selfishness Us Them Mercy Rigidity Now Now Black grey White (What do you think it means to Be Kind To Each Other?) Freedom versus Utopia Good gray Evil Sacred grey Profane Peace gray Fear Asleep grey Awake Violence gray Understanding Pride grey Humility The Art of Rape Sacrifice Innocent Real gray Deception Gift grey Seduction Truth Hope Love
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
12 2 2010
Looks like trinary code.
Imagery excercise:
If you had a date with destiny in one year, what would you do for the next 12 months?
Who would you become? what would change.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYFhWV8--io
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXV_QjenbDw&feature=related
Imagery excercise:
If you had a date with destiny in one year, what would you do for the next 12 months?
Who would you become? what would change.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYFhWV8--io
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXV_QjenbDw&feature=related
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sweetest Doxie, Sweet Dachshunds, and Arty (Strecker Nelson Art Gallery Watchpuppy)
Gallery's playful dachshund: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jbMq4c08wg
(google images)calendar images:
these are from
These are of Arty, the Strecker-Nelson Art Gallery on Poyntz's resident watchpup. http://www.strecker-nelsongallery.com/
I photographed this Fine Dog last year.
More cutest puppies HERE.
Chiuaua Lovers and Puppy updates
Due to a couple requests, i will post the large version of this Fine Chiuaua. It comes from the calendar i love (see below for link):
click pics to enlarge. more chiuaua here: http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/be-good-dog.html
another from The Calendar;
Blond Chihuahua Pup
A guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a fellow with a Chihuahua are walking down the street . . . when they come to a popular restaurant. The guy with the Doberman says, "Hey, let's go in and eat!" The other guy says, "Are you crazy? They won't let us come in there with these dogs!"
The first fellow says, "Sure they will. Watch this!" The Doberman's
owner whips out his dark sunglasses and walks into the restaurant. The host says "Sir, we don't allow dogs in this establishment." The guy replies, "Oh, this is my seeing-eye dog and constant companion." The host apologizes and seats the man at a table. When the host comes back,
the guy with the Chihuahua, who is also wearing
dark glasses, asks to be seated after pointing out his "seeing-eye dog."
The host says, "Seeing-eye dog?
But sir, that's a chihuahua!"
The guy says, "WHAT? They gave me a chihuahua????"
and in case, this December, you need a pic of the real santa:
(a santa gracious enough to be photographed; MORE HERE)
friends (from the calendar)
sweetest doxie (calendar)
Sweetest Golden Pup taken june 2010 in topeka mtodd
Here is jasmine, the PHINE little chiuaua who loves her mommy:
Cooper.
Cooper at K-State Women's Center.
Little Pilkington in Kansas City
Sweetest boston: a greeting card i scanned.
A Shiba from The Daily Puppy.
More puppies HERE.
Abby from Lawrence
I found Abby at Bittersweet Floral on Mass Ave while i was in Lawrence at the Best Eye Doctor in Midwest ...and beyond (i know folks who fly in from D.C. area to be examined by him), where i get all my glasses, at Dr. Curtis Anderson on mass ave. 
The Florist gave me a tiny piece of eucalyptus that fragranced my entire truck for over a week so far.
Well, here is a fine discussion: Just Ask Amy
Across the country, women are writing about rape, rapists, and society.
This crime is not going away or lessening.
People send me items every day.
here is one sent by a K-Stater, connected with the New York Times:
the Ask Amy advice column,
http://jezebel.com/5414393/ask-amy-to-rape-victim-first-you-were-a-victim-of-your-own-awful-judgment
an advice columnist blames a victim for getting assaulted.
here is one comment posted after the "advice':
"Now, I'm not blaming the rapist or anything, but he did make several HUGE mistakes that night that could have decreased his chances of raping someone. First, he went to a party, where he knew there were going to be women who had been drinking. Second, he led one of those women to believe that he wouldn't rape her, and last, once he was alone with her he chose to go against her wishes and raped her anyway.
It's only natural for young women to go out and get drunk at parties; you'll never be able to stop all of them. So it's very bad judgment for any man to go to a party if he thinks he might be capable of raping someone while there. We need to focus on teaching men what they can do to avoid assaulting anyone.
I know it's hard to tell young men that all women are potential victims and that therefore they should stay away from all of them, but that's the price you have to pay to stay safe. Most women out there are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, but it's the few who might be led to trust you that you have to watch out for. Since there is no way to distinguish between the women who won't and the women who will trust you, you just need to avoid them all.
I understand that believing there was nothing he could have done can help a rapist to feel better about himself; the fact is, that if he'd taken better precautions, he could have walked away a non-rapist.
and here is a funny sad comment from bettyD:
· Are there things you can do to possibly reduce the risk of some deranged, likely violent a*****e raping you? Yes, there are a lot of things you can do, ladies. If only we're proactive, we can prevent rape! We couldn't possibly think of getting rid of the deranged, violent a*****s altogether, so let's ee what we can do!
1) Stop bathing. Rapists don't like natural odours.
2) Deliberately contract STDs with obvious physical symptoms. Don't treat them. No one likes the herp! That'll keep them away.
3) Wear sweatpants, at all times - preferably several pairs at once. You're asking for it only wearing one layer - don't make it so easy for them. (use this in conjunction with no. 1, so that the sweatpants are fragrant).......6) Don't leave the house, and lock the doors. Once you go out in public, your body is fair game. Be safe!
7) Get rid of your vagina. Ask your doctor.
This crime is not going away or lessening.
People send me items every day.
here is one sent by a K-Stater, connected with the New York Times:
the Ask Amy advice column,
http://jezebel.com/5414393/ask-amy-to-rape-victim-first-you-were-a-victim-of-your-own-awful-judgment
an advice columnist blames a victim for getting assaulted.
here is one comment posted after the "advice':
"Now, I'm not blaming the rapist or anything, but he did make several HUGE mistakes that night that could have decreased his chances of raping someone. First, he went to a party, where he knew there were going to be women who had been drinking. Second, he led one of those women to believe that he wouldn't rape her, and last, once he was alone with her he chose to go against her wishes and raped her anyway.
It's only natural for young women to go out and get drunk at parties; you'll never be able to stop all of them. So it's very bad judgment for any man to go to a party if he thinks he might be capable of raping someone while there. We need to focus on teaching men what they can do to avoid assaulting anyone.
I know it's hard to tell young men that all women are potential victims and that therefore they should stay away from all of them, but that's the price you have to pay to stay safe. Most women out there are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, but it's the few who might be led to trust you that you have to watch out for. Since there is no way to distinguish between the women who won't and the women who will trust you, you just need to avoid them all.
I understand that believing there was nothing he could have done can help a rapist to feel better about himself; the fact is, that if he'd taken better precautions, he could have walked away a non-rapist.
and here is a funny sad comment from bettyD:
· Are there things you can do to possibly reduce the risk of some deranged, likely violent a*****e raping you? Yes, there are a lot of things you can do, ladies. If only we're proactive, we can prevent rape! We couldn't possibly think of getting rid of the deranged, violent a*****s altogether, so let's ee what we can do!
1) Stop bathing. Rapists don't like natural odours.
2) Deliberately contract STDs with obvious physical symptoms. Don't treat them. No one likes the herp! That'll keep them away.
3) Wear sweatpants, at all times - preferably several pairs at once. You're asking for it only wearing one layer - don't make it so easy for them. (use this in conjunction with no. 1, so that the sweatpants are fragrant).......6) Don't leave the house, and lock the doors. Once you go out in public, your body is fair game. Be safe!
7) Get rid of your vagina. Ask your doctor.
Melissa from Shakesville : "Here's the thing about rapists: They rape people. They rape people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who are rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance. The only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is the bad f**** luck of being in the presence of a rapist.
"...Victim-blaming is based on the damnably f*****-up notion that people (and women in particular) allow themselves to be victimized by virtue of carelessness or stupidity, and they need to be warned and educated and lectured and hectored and cajoled and shamed into never being victims (again). "No. "Our culture creates rapists—and they create victims. No one has ever been a victim of rape, until they had the bad f***** luck of being in the presence of a rapist."
Monday, November 30, 2009
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