Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Well, here is a fine discussion: Just Ask Amy

Across the country, women are writing about rape, rapists, and society.
This crime is not going away or lessening.
People send me items every day.
here is one sent by a K-Stater, connected with the New York Times:

the Ask Amy advice column,
an advice columnist blames a victim for getting assaulted.
here is one comment posted after the "advice':

"Now, I'm not blaming the rapist or anything, but he did make several HUGE mistakes that night that could have decreased his chances of raping someone. First, he went to a party, where he knew there were going to be women who had been drinking. Second, he led one of those women to believe that he wouldn't rape her, and last, once he was alone with her he chose to go against her wishes and raped her anyway.

It's only natural for young women to go out and get drunk at parties; you'll never be able to stop all of them. So it's very bad judgment for any man to go to a party if he thinks he might be capable of raping someone while there. We need to focus on teaching men what they can do to avoid assaulting anyone.
I know it's hard to tell young men that all women are potential victims and that therefore they should stay away from all of them, but that's the price you have to pay to stay safe. Most women out there are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, but it's the few who might be led to trust you that you have to watch out for. Since there is no way to distinguish between the women who won't and the women who will trust you, you just need to avoid them all.
I understand that believing there was nothing he could have done can help a rapist to feel better about himself; the fact is, that if he'd taken better precautions, he could have walked away a non-rapist.

and here is a funny sad comment from bettyD:
· Are there things you can do to possibly reduce the risk of some deranged, likely violent a*****e raping you? Yes, there are a lot of things you can do, ladies. If only we're proactive, we can prevent rape! We couldn't possibly think of getting rid of the deranged, violent a*****s altogether, so let's ee what we can do!

1) Stop bathing. Rapists don't like natural odours.
2) Deliberately contract STDs with obvious physical symptoms. Don't treat them. No one likes the herp! That'll keep them away.
3) Wear sweatpants, at all times - preferably several pairs at once. You're asking for it only wearing one layer - don't make it so easy for them. (use this in conjunction with no. 1, so that the sweatpants are fragrant).......6) Don't leave the house, and lock the doors. Once you go out in public, your body is fair game. Be safe!
7) Get rid of your vagina. Ask your doctor.

Melissa from Shakesville :   "Here's the thing about rapists: They rape people. They rape people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who are rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance. The only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is the bad f**** luck of being in the presence of a rapist.
"...Victim-blaming is based on the damnably f*****-up notion that people (and women in particular) allow themselves to be victimized by virtue of carelessness or stupidity, and they need to be warned and educated and lectured and hectored and cajoled and shamed into never being victims (again).  "No.  "Our culture creates rapists—and they create victims. No one has ever been a victim of rape, until they had the bad f***** luck of being in the presence of a rapist."

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