Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Rape, and False Rape Reports, Hurt Everyone

This story hit the UK press yesterday:

This is a case of a man --only 22 years old--spending a significant amount of time--one year-- in jail while awaiting his trial. The jury found him not guilty in one hour. He apparently suffered great violence while in prison.
Here are the words of the man, who appears to have been the victim of a terrible injustice:

 "Being falsely accused of rape is every guy's worst nightmare.
"Then to be thrown in jail for a year with real sex beasts almost pushed me over the edge.
"I will never recover from being treated as a monster and being beaten and abused behind bars. It was the worst year of my life and I am lucky to have survived.
"I will never forgive that woman for what she has done to me. Her lies have destroyed me but she doesn't give a damn."
Upset and shaking as he recalled the nightmare ordeal that will haunt him for the rest of his life, Jason added: "Women who make up rape allegations not only ruin the lives of the guys who are wrongly accused, they are doing a huge injustice to genuine victims.

"It is difficult enough for victims to get rapists into court and get convictions without women like her making things up. It is unforgivable.
"I have great respect for women and I am very close to my mum and gran, who mean the world to me.
"They never doubted I was innocent and neither did my work, who supported me through it.

"I was there for a year and spent every day with some of the worst sex beasts you could imagine. I will never get over it. I even tried to take my own life because it was unbearable.

"I just thank God I had the support of my family and my work or I wouldn't be here today.

"When I was first arrested and the police told me what I was alleged to have done I was physically sick. I couldn't believe anyone could be so cruel and sadistic as to have made all that up."

"I still cannot take it in. I have never been accused of anything like this in my life.

"I have a real problem with trusting people now and it has made me scared of women. I am going for counselling.
"I hardly knew this woman who accused me of raping her but she has ruined my life.
"For an innocent man to be branded a rapist is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.

Many thoughts after reading this news story.
I hope the man is able to move through the trauma and use his experience to help others.

1. First, how agonizing; every day i read a story or two about this or that which i am sure will kill me-beyond  pathos, we are speaking of such inhumanity and selfish violence it feels truly unbearable. For me, compassion for the loved ones is greatest- that a mother or sister, a brother or God Forbid my own Grandmother would have to endure such onslaught--unbearable.

2.  If you read details about the prison this guy was in, you can see the grotesque nature of the prison system when at its worst. And-- having his victimization magnified by violent men is beyond comprehension. The violence humans are able to inflict on one another, and on every species! can be studied, researched, and attempts at treatments made, but in the end, evil is incomprehensible.

3.  To learn and understand one another, let's look at his statements. he says, "For an innocent man to be branded a rapist is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone." Why is that? I think it important for men to ask, Why is that? What is it about rape that makes it so shameful and degrading? To thugs and criminals in jail even? The men in prison punished him--Why were they bent on punishing this man?

4. He says,  "Then to be thrown in jail for a year with real sex beasts almost pushed me over the edge." "I will never recover from being treated as a monster and being beaten and abused behind bars. It was the worst year of my life and I am lucky to have survived."
Two points: The meaning of  real "sex beasts"? His words reiterate that we have a serious problem in our societies today. We apparently have a significant  portion of the population who are really entrenched in the violations of others using sexual behavior as a weapon. He calls themn BEASTS. I think this is an important point to make, as many folks still believe that rapists, pedophiles, and other violent individuals are quite rare. Until we address the fact that they are here, there, and everywhere, we continue to have unsuspecting victims and lack of education about the problem.   "I will never recover from being treated as a monster and being beaten and abused behind bars"--SO-- I would like to know people's thoughts on why men do this to other men. Why was he treated this way in prison by other men? I have my own theories and have read some, but this is a horrendous experience to have undergone--where should the research go on this one?

5. He states, "I will never forgive that woman for what she has done to me. Her lies have destroyed me but she doesn't give a damn."  and ,  "I have a real problem with trusting people now and it has made me scared of women. I am going for counselling. "I hardly knew this woman who accused me of raping her but she has ruined my life." 
 I see this concept of feeling "destroyed" being repeated over and over by women treated for sexual assault trauma. I hear then say how they cannot help but generalize, and that they fear or mistrust all men. I think this reiterates the point i made previously that the behavior of sociopaths has similar effects on others, no matter whether male or female, or how their selfishness is manifested. I know rape victims who "hardly knew" their attacker, but are left struggling with anxiety and depression as they see him getting married, moving on, not "giving a damn" about the trauma he left behind.

6. He further states, "Women who make up rape allegations not only ruin the lives of the guys who are wrongly accused, they are doing a huge injustice to genuine victims. "It is difficult enough for victims to get rapists into court and get convictions without women like her making things up. It is unforgivable."
Correct on every level. Crimes of violence, of betrayal and deception ruin lives, at least for a long time.
And his points about the criminal justice system and rape victims are equally true: It is very hard to get courts to take cases to begin with, as evidence is different than evidence in most criminal cases (elements of the crime are in fact legal under the right circumstances) and it is extremely difficult to get convictions because of this.

7. Lastly, "When I was first arrested and the police told me what I was alleged to have done I was physically sick. I couldn't believe anyone could be so cruel and sadistic as to have made all that up." This was a stark reminder to me of what i have heard from friends and family of those women who have been tied up, beaten, and raped anally, orally, and vaginally. They were overwhelmed by the criminal's need to hurt, belittle, degrade.  Many parents or husbands vomit after hearing about the assaults on those they love. They are unable to understand how this level of betrayal can be right here, among folks who seem like normal humans

The seriousness of this article,
which shows the heaviness of the consequenses of criminal selfishness, psychological and physical violence, and betrayal -- should be enough to allow all those who work for justice and the right to lead an unmolested life to try to contribute understanding to one another rather than adding more violence.

I bring this last point up because there have been some bad words exchanged between commenters on the False Rape Blog and the BeAGoodDogBlog. It pains me that folks jump to conclusions and do not try to find any common ground. When I hear from FRS, "We do not Condone Rape"-- uh, that does sound weak to me and i understand why crime victims feel that the gravity of their "ruined lives" is not understood. Just as men who have been falsely accused of this crime detest hearing that "there is no such thing" as a false report and feel the gravity of destroyed families and reputations is ignored.
Let's face it--there is a lot of trouble and bad intention in the world, and my question is, do you want to work to alleviate the pain and problems, or add to the anger and misery? Words on a page can hurt as much as a kick in the stomach. I suggest "getting it out of your system" in a less hurful way than rantings.

Tuesday's Moon

Last night, a rising orange moon was obstructed by trees. These are not retouched. Click to enlarge. Taken over about a half hour period.

 Rising march Moon by mtodd

Creamy Rising March Moon Over The Barn by mtodd
Rising Moon Over a Barn by mtodd

March Moon Madness by mtodd

March Moon Rising by mtodd

moon with no zoom

for more moon pics, enter moon in the search bar in the top right of the blog.
also, more moons HERE

Plastic Wrapped Moon

here is a Rising march moon
wrapped in plastic by mtodd

more moons HERE

Because there aren't enough violent felonies to investigate? (sweetest fish)

holey moley- does this mean we've caught all the thugs!?  YAY!

pics from the world wide googled web.

Evil, Violence and Abuse Beget Evil, Violence and Abuse

Rape Conviction - 40 years.
Judge sentences man to 40 years for rape  By DAWNE LEIKER

A 33-year-old Hays man was sentenced to 40 years in prison for the rape of a Fort Hays State University student.  Allan Kari sat impassive throughout the sentencing hearing, except when expressing remorse to his victim and her family in a brief apology.

Kari was arrested on charges of rape, aggravated criminal sodomy, aggravated burglary and obstructing legal process Aug.25, 2008. He was convicted of the charges Sept. 22, 2009.
District Judge Tom Toepfer considered a forensic evaluation from Larned State Hospital and letters to the court from Kari, the victim's mother and the victim's father before handing down the sentence.

In his letter to the court, [the perpetrator] Kari wrote, "It's been extremely difficult for me to grasp the gravity and reality of this situation, and throughout this I've been hoping for a misunderstanding or miracle instead of facing the harsh truth in its entirety. In the end, I was made to face my actions and took accountability for the wrong I committed.
"I should've done it way earlier, but I was scared. Again, I'm sorry."
He asked for leniency from the court, allowing him to be remanded to the care of Larned State Hospital for treatment of multiple disorders including mental health and alcohol abuse.

Taking into account prior convictions of third-degree sexual assault and assault on a police officer in Colorado in 1995, plus his failure to register as a sex offender in Colorado in 2005, Kansas sentencing guidelines call for sentencing of 48.8 years in prison. "While that may seem excessive in this case, he certainly has a history," Ellis County Attorney Tom Drees said. "He has a failure to comply with society's rules and regulations."

Defense attorney Paul Oller sought leniency because Kari has a history of being abused as a child.
"Frankly, Mr. Kari is one of those individuals who has suffered trauma early on in his life and has since that time spent most of his life in psychiatric institutions, juvenile institutions or in prison," Oller said. "I think the forensic evaluation report certainly shows that those institutions have not served him very well.
"That isn't an excuse for his behavior in this case and doesn't help the victim, but it certainly does suggest that Mr. Kari's behavior is, in part, due to the traumatic effects of his childhood."

Toepfer handed down a sentence of 40 years, reducing it by 8.8 years due to the abuses suffered by Kari as a child.
"The bottom line is, it appears that given your mental state, that outside of a controlled structured environment, you are a dangerous person," Toepfer said after passing sentence. "You're a danger to society. I have an obligation to protect society in that regard, and I intend to do that in this particular case."
He sentenced Kari to the Kansas Department of Corrections, which will do an assessment to determine what facility will be appropriate for him to serve.
"I can recommend to the Department of Corrections that you continue to receive your psychotropic medicines and any mental health care that you need," Toepfer said. "If that includes periodic hospitalization, then so be it."
Kari will be awarded time served since Aug. 25, 2008, and will be eligible for parole in 32 years. He will be 65 years old.

Oller said Kari's case illustrates the gaps in societal systems that can lead to criminal activity.
"We have a system that hasn't adequately addressed the needs of children," he said. "It is an unfortunate commentary on our society that we have young people who are traumatized and end up doing very bad things to other people. It perpetuates itself."

Kari's sentencing brought some degree of closure to the victim's family.
The victim's father said he thought the sentencing was "reasonable," and he wasn't "full of anger or rage." 
"It's always going to hurt," he said, and added he understood there will be appeals and that the cycle of abuse often is "something that passes on from person to person."
"I'm not saying it's an excuse," the victim's father said. "But (Kari) was a victim, and he victimized someone else, and I just hope it stops here."
He said he knew from personal experience the lasting effects of living with abuse.
"I was abused as a child and went through the judicial system myself," he said. "I was in and out of juvenile halls and was in jail when I was 18.
"But that's no excuse for the choices that we make. We need to take responsibility for our own actions."

Drees said he anticipates the next step will be for the public defender's office to file an appeal on the sentence, and they will begin working through the appellate process.
Today's sentencing, he said, was "just one more hurdle."

So very sad on every level.
To read about the transmission of abuse from generation to generation,
read (from the ksu women's center staff page) here:

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Drug Facilitated Rape, Robbery, Assault

Over the past several years, there has been a steady increase in the number of rapes reported where it appears drugs of some sort were used to facilitate the rape.

Since so many rapes go unreported
 (according to the FBI, hospitals, families, etc)
and since drugs disappear quickly from  the human system, these sorts of statistics are difficult to compile. I have several films on the topic; you can view them here at the office. One film on the issue of drugging documents how some criminals film their crimes. That is, they will drug a victim, then film the scene to show how burning her with cigarettes, slapping her, etc. will not produce the pain response. In general, filming a victim during a sexual assault (who is drugged) can serve several purposes.

painting info HERE
They are sold to other criminals.
Just as men who view porn want new stimuli or those who view horror stimuli for excitation need new material to reach the desired effect, those men who need to increase their sense of worth and power through degrading or overpowering others can get some of the effect by viewing a film with a "fresh" victim.
They are posted online for both money and "prestige."
Many "collectors" are proud of their library of crimes. See what happens if you google the term, "watch live rape" or "live rape video"-- you will see that there are millions-- Millions- of choices.
These films are also used to show that the victim is not complaining or even grimacing during the sexual assault, thus "proving" that a rape is not occurring. Prosecutors are finding that many rape drugs are being MIXED with drugs of euphoria, such as ecstacy or heroin, resulting in the victim being unable to control her actions or even being aware of herself, (that is, being in a state of blackout) and appearing as if she is in a state of bliss.
One prosecutor tells the case of how (in preparing for a "party") water bottles were dosed with a drug, then sealed up again with a drop of glue to maintain the appearance of a safe drink.
One particularly bothersome story for me is the case of a young woman with friends who was at an outdoor concert. A friend of one of her friends stumbled into her, knocking her beer out of her hand and onto the ground. He was holding a bottle of ice cold beer, opened, and in the other hand was a can opener. He giggled and slurred to her, "here, you take mine, I'll go get 'nother one."
 He still had the can opener in his hand, "clearly" he had JUST opened the bottle in his hand, right?
After a few minutes she became sick, then went to the camper to lie down. After a bit, the male acquaintence was missed, and the men asked, where was B--?? Someone said, "he went to the camper to take a whizz." But-- Apparently-- men do not generally go inside to urinate while at an outdoor concert. The friends became suspicious, went to the camper, and found him assaulting the woman and called the police.

The drugs are now being used for other vile purposes, such as robbery. Bartenders or others who have access to food and drink can easily dose a person, then watch for the signs of illness and offer "assistance". I will not go into great detail here, but do hope you will educate yourself:
go here and click on the emergency link or the advocacy/violence link to learn more.
Of course, many want to know how a person can be so pathetic as to want to assault a [basically] comatose person. Learn about the socioopathic personality to begin to understand-- here is part seven of a continuing post abou this.
and i am intending to begin Profiling the various types of rapists in the near future.
Sorry to totally harsh your mellow.
I would be remiss not to warn you from time to time--
It is a terrible thing to see a friend under the influence of a drug, hoping they will recover and regain the personality of the person you knew.
I have previously published some posts about this but hope to begin posting some specific reserach in this area soon.
here is one article from a decade ago, which started me thinking:

Date Rape Drug Suspected in Party Death of 15-year-old Girl

January 18, 1999   By The Associated Press

GROSSE ILE, Mich. (AP) -- A 15-year-old girl died after drinking alcohol that police believe was laced with a date rape drug.  Police Chief William Barron said the girl and two others went with three boys to an apartment complex Saturday night. Barron said two of the girls had drinks, and soon after, the 15-year-old started vomiting.
She died Sunday.

Her name was not released. The other girl, who turns 15 on Tuesday, was in stable condition Monday.
An autopsy was being performed on the 15-year-old.
Barron said investigators believe the girls' drinks had been laced with gamma-hydroxybutyrate, or GHB, which is known as a date rape drug because it has been used to render women helpless against sexual advances.
It can cause euphoria and, in higher doses, breathing problems, seizures, coma and death. In 1997, the Food and Drug Administration blamed GHB for at least three deaths.
Police were questioning one of the girls' companions.

Here is a summary of one study: i have only read this summary and not the paper. i am posting it to give an indication of research topics. (one conclusion is that voluntary drug use puts one at higher risk for being targeted for sexual assault.)

Estimate of the Incidence of Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault in the U.S.
Release date: May-2006

Most sexual assaults drug facilitated, UIC study claims

Almost 62 percent of sexual assaults were found to be drug facilitated, and almost 5 percent of the victims were given classic 'date-rape' drugs, according to a new study at the University of Illinois at Chicago.
An estimated 100,000 sexual assaults are committed in the United States each year, and the FBI says that number could be three times higher if all cases were reported, said Adam Negrusz, associate professor of
forensic sciences in the UIC College of Pharmacy.
Negrusz, lead author of the study titled "Estimate of the Incidence of Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault in the U.S.," said individuals who use drugs, with or without alcohol, are thought to be at a significantly
higher risk for sexual assault. "In some cases the substances are taken voluntarily by the victims, impairing their ability to make decisions," Negrusz said. "In other cases the substances are given to the victims without their knowledge, which may decrease their ability to identify a dangerous situation or to resist the perpetrator."

In about 80 percent of the cases the victim knows the assailant, he said, "while only 20 percent of sexual assaults are opportunistic." The study, funded by the National Institute of Justice, can be accessed via the National Criminal Justice Reference Service at   
The study collected data from 144 subjects who sought help in clinics located in Texas, California, Minnesota and Washington state. The subjects were from all ethnic backgrounds and ranged in age from 18 to 56, with a mean age of 26.6.
Each clinic was provided with sexual assault kits and asked to enroll willing sexual assault complainants. Subjects provided two urine samples and a hair specimen and completed a questionnaire that asked them to
describe the assault and any drugs they were using. "The urine and hair specimens were analyzed for about 45 drugs that have either been detected in sexual assault victims or whose pharmacology could be exploited for drug-facilitated sexual assaults," Negrusz said.
Two types of drug-facilitated sexual assault were identified: presumed
surreptitious drugging, or willful drug use by the subject.
According to Negrusz, 61.8 percent of the subjects were found to have at least one of the 45 analyzed drugs in their system; 4.9 percent tested positive for the classic date-rape drugs, and 4.2 percent of the
subjects had been drugged without their knowledge.
Four of the unwittingly-drugged victims, Negrusz said, tested positive
for Rohypnol, a tranquilizer 10 times more potent than Valium that has
been banned in the United States.
When the subject's voluntary drug use was queried, 35.4 percent were likely to have been impaired at the time of the sexual assault.

Robert Gaensslen, professor and head of the UIC forensic science program, and Matthew Juhascik, who received his doctoral degree in biopharmaceutical sciences from UIC, assisted with the study. 
UIC ranks among the nation's top 50 universities in federal research funding and is Chicago's largest university with 25,000 students, 12,000 faculty and staff, 15 colleges and the state's major public medical

Monday, March 29, 2010

Moon Over Kansas

Last night's moon was lovely:

moon over kansas
and kind of cool posterized: (and wouldn't it have been lovely to be an explorer,
 finding rivers and mountains and in this case, craters in front of you?)

moon over kansas by mary todd
click to enlarge-
it has been a wrenching weekend
for us here in kansas, the land of oz,
or AHHHHs,
or this thursday, AIYIYIYAS!!
or this saturday, awws.
so here's little pic entitled, pushing the limits.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Frank Martin Picture K-State Basketball Big 12 Coach of the Year

Frank Martin Picture for those of you asking for a larger version of the KC Star's pic: slightly altered...
Frank Martin, K-State Basketball
Big 12 Coach of the Year

K-State Wildcats

where is frank martin?

where is frank martin?

K-State's Frank Marin, Basketball Coach

More Frank Martin HERE

My (john Madden level) advice to Coach Martin:
The Bank Shot HERE

K-State Basketball, 4-Pointers from Crawford, and Frank Martin Staying Centered

Oh My.
Good Dogs indeed..
i must be in fairly good health as
 i did not have a
heart attack last night.
                                                                     click pics to enlarge
Yes, in a year past, Xavier had acted
with unsportmanslike behavior
in a year Past;
[reported were prideful antics
on the court after "taking k-state to school" --]
Prideful not in the good sense of
(the pride that comes with hearts swelling and throats constricting -type-meaning, )

but in the more Arrogant,
(laughy dancy nasty, hope-i-am-makin-you-feel-bad type of pride- )
 you know, you've heard about
this type of pride from The Very Beginning.
Modern sports did not invent it.

And yes, K-State players have been the beneficiaries of coaching
from The Coach of the year--it says so in writing HERE--

but put all that aside for the pure
athletic show,
the heart and soul, the testing of the game.
Instant Classic.
 to coin an oxmoron.
(And Jordan Crawford was shooting 4-pointers.)
"Instead, Jordan Crawford failed to find room near the three-point line, so he dribbled far enough away until there was space at which time he rose and fired from 35 feet to send Gus Johnson on CBS into a fit of apoplexy."  film and quote here

Head West.

Frank Martin
says not to do an important thing in a silly or selfish way.
Fu'Cryin' Out Loud!

k-state basketball coach Frank martin
Frank Martin and Miracles   Frank Martin K-State Basketball Coach and Miracles


The Bank Shot! HERE

Frank Martin's Miracle Team Pulls Staff Away From Their Posts

K-State Women's Center Kiosk in the Union was left unattended in the wake of NCAA action.
(the game here)

Frank Martin's Miracle Team pull the students from their posts...
Head West

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Frank Martin, Miracles, and K-State Basketball Go Wildcats- Updated

Frank Martin, K-State Basketball Coach and a Miracle: Nurse or angel in disguise?
KC Star story. Wow, whaddyya think of this? wait- the kc star seems to be dropping all links after only a month or so.   so i am putting the entire article down below.  
 May 15 update HERE
Frank Martin, KSU Men's Basketball coach
Frank Martin, K-State Basketball Coach KC Star Photo

K-State Wildcats Basketball Final Four NCAA:
more here:  shooting 4-pointers

and more HERE

hot-walkin purple wild kit kat by mary todd small
K-State Wildcats

more purple wildcats:

Picture of Frank Martin, KSU Coach, from the Kansas City Star
Frank Martin Coach K-State Men's Basketball
A real Manhattan miracle: Kansas State coach Frank Martin recalls his brush with death

Frank Martin: Bring back the bank shot

Konza as Willeigh
Frank Martin had felt sick, been hospitalized, felt better and then, while still in the hospital, sent his wife home to Cincinnati.
It was 2006. Bob Huggins had just been hired as Kansas State's basketball coach, and he'd brought with him to Manhattan a handful of assistants, including a former high school coach out of Miami that few had heard of.

From his hospital bed, Martin insisted that his wife return home to be there for their daughter's first birthday. He had assured Anya he would be fine if she went. But when she turned on her cell phone a day later, the frantic voice said otherwise.
"He called back in complete tears, saying, 'They just told me I'm going to die,''' Anya said.
A horrifying diagnosis would mean he would not become the Wildcats' head coach when Huggins left for his alma mater, West Virginia. He would not hear the taunts that his promotion was a joke and a farce. He would not prove everyone wrong, would not lead his team to Oklahoma City four years later as a legitimate Final Four contender, would not see his little girl start to grow up, watch his son in Miami become a man or ever know he was destined to have another son.

How could he do any of these things? These were among his last moments on this earth, in a dark Manhattan hospital, a dreary room within eyesight of Kansas State's sports facilities.

It was among this grief that Joe Perez-Jones, Martin's uncle and godfather - the man who helped raise Martin after his father left home - stepped from the hospital room into the hallway. Behind him, Martin's body trembled, his temperature had roared to 105 degrees and his skin had turned a deep, sickly yellow.

To this day, Perez-Jones does not know if the woman was an actual nurse or an angel of God. What he feels certain of is she represented a miracle.

"This small Asian nurse came up to me,'' Perez-Jones said. "And she says, 'Father, we need to go in and pray for whoever's in there. Who is in there?'

"It's my nephew and godson,'' he remembered saying. "But I'm not a father.''
"Oh, yes, you are,'' the woman said. "In God's eyes.''
Perez-Jones cannot tell this without crying.
The woman had a plan: She would get on her knees before Martin and pray. Perez-Jones would lay his hands on his nephew. And their faith would save him.

  Frank Martin does not remember what followed. He only knows that one moment he was waiting for death and a few days later he had a second chance at life. Perez-Jones does not know if what followed was an emotional reaction, a metaphysical miracle or perhaps both. Martin's wife and mother couldn't tell you how the man they loved was saved.

Only one thing is certain: What happened in that room would alter the course of Martin's life by teaching him to love life, put work in perspective and become the kind of man - the kind who knows what a second chance feels like - to bring a lesser miracle to Kansas State's basketball program.
 Bob Huggins became the Kansas State basketball coach on March 23, 2006. It was Frank Martin's 40th birthday.

"I came in, did the paperwork with Huggins and hit the road recruiting,'' Martin said. "We were on the road for all of April.''
They were chasing players like Luis Colon, Jason Bennett, Blake Young and others. It was a frantic, grueling grind designed to turn the woebegotten Wildcats into winners. When in Manhattan, Huggins, Martin and the other assistant coaches settled into the Fairfield Inn. It was a Sunday in May when the chills started.

"I went home, took Advil, wrapped myself in 127 blankets and got into bed,'' Martin said.
This was someone who'd willed himself to overcome a father who'd abandoned him, carved a career out of a controversial exit from high school coaching in Miami and worked for nothing, but still made himself into a college coach despite the roadblocks thrown his way. Surely he could will himself past a little flu bug.

Anya was in town that night he got sick, but she had a 7 a.m. flight out of Kansas City. Martin rose well before sunup, drove her to Kansas City, then headed straight back to Manhattan. He had work to do.

"I met Huggy for a cup of coffee, went back to the office and worked,'' he said.

Martin's condition worsened. Seated in K-State's basketball offices, he began shaking uncontrollably. A secretary urged him to recognize how ill he was. Martin headed back to the Fairfield Inn.

"I took more Advil, had three bottles of water,'' he said. "I figured I could sweat it out.''

He couldn't. Andy Assaley, the director of basketball operations, checked in on him at the hotel. Alarmed, he called Huggins, who brought in the trainer. The trainer knew something was terribly wrong.

"I was defeated,'' Martin said. "I had a huge lump in my stomach.'' Martin, telling this, used his hands to demonstrate a volleyball-sized immersion. "Huge, hard lump.''

At the hospital, they ran test after test.

Martin's temperature was 103 and would climb even higher. He weight was dropping, his skin turning from Miami tan to dewy yellow.
"They couldn't figure out what was wrong,'' he said.
His wife came back from Cincinnati, but he felt certain he would be fine. Anya needed to be at their daughter's birthday. So at Martin's urging, she returned to Ohio.
But it only got worse.

Information about what was happening to Martin trickled in. He had ulcers, and they had penetrated his intestinal wall. There was an infection. His pancreatic numbers were warped. His pancreas could fail. He was facing organ failure. His temperature was now 105.
The bad news kept coming.
His liver had shut down. He'd contracted pneumonia.
"There were a lot of moments,'' he said, "where I didn't think I was coming through the other side.''
Then they told him he had pancreatic cancer.
Martin asked the doctors to leave. Even in his weakened state, he looked up the stats. One jumped out and stuck in his soul: a five-year survival rate of 4 percent.
He was going to die. He called his wife to tell her.
Then at some point in the days ahead - no one can remember exactly - the woman appeared outside his hospital room, telling Martin's uncle they had to act.
The woman said she was not allowed to do what she was about to do: to take Perez-Jones into that room, get on her knees and pray for Frank Martin. They walked into the room. It was dark. Martin's mother sat in a corner, waiting. When she saw them, she simply nodded, as if she'd been expecting them.

"Frank was very yellow, trembling, his eyes were distant,'' Perez-Jones said. "There was no life to him, no energy.''

Perez-Jones laid his hands on Frank. The woman kneeled and grabbed Frank's hand. They began to pray.

"I don't know if it was emotional, but I felt this heat come over my body,'' the uncle said. "I felt burning heat released from the top of Frank and into (me) ... and then out. I kept thinking, 'I have a spiritual responsibility for Frank as his godfather.'''

The praying went on and on. The sense of heat increased. Frank sweated frantically. Then the woman stood and, without saying a word, left. They never saw her again. Perez-Jones remembers the darkness of the room being filled with a strange, comforting light.

There would be more tests. More doctors. A visit to a specialist in another city. Medical people conferring. But Martin started to get better, and word finally came that he did not have pancreatic cancer. He was not dying. He was going to be all right.
Why? How? Who can say?
For Martin, the miracle of that moment was clear. So was what had to happen next.

"I felt like it was a second chance,'' Martin said. "I had to change my life. Two high triggers for pancreatic (problems) are alcohol and high-fat foods. To this day, I have not had a drink again. Not a drop.''

He felt fortified by near death. He saw life differently, in the way only those who have truly met their own mortality can.

"I wanted to be a father, I wanted to be a husband,'' he said. "Anya and I had been married only a year and a half. (My son) Brandon was only 7 years old. I would do anything to be with them.''
And one other change: true perspective.
"It made me understand my job is not more important than the other parts of my life,'' he said. "And it reinforced the values of my youth - a strong faith in God. I saw the shining light.''

That would make the trials to come bearable. It would mean, under pressure and scrutiny and the weight of being tasked with turning around a major basketball program, that Martin knew that such things were only so important.

The team hotel in Oklahoma City teems with fans. When Martin walks in, people clap and shake his hand and tell him how proud of him and how thankful they are.

"Thank you,'' he says.

"I appreciate that,'' he says.

He retreats to an empty room to talk, but soon his wife arrives. He kisses his 4-year-old daughter, Amalia. He takes his sleeping 2-year-old, Christian, into his arms, and carries him back into the lobby. With every step, his whispers into his son's ear.
These are the spoils of Martin's life and of his second chance. He is surrounded by fans who see him as their program's savior, he is holding his son in his arms, he is wondering how on earth he got so lucky, so blessed.

Curtis Kelly walks by and shouts, "Christian!'' The boy lifts his head, smiles and puts out his hand. The basketball player slaps five.

Jacob Pullen sees it and laughs. "Hey, I was your boy all year! What about me?'' Christian giggles, stretches out his hand again and Pullen slaps five.

Martin smiles to himself as his wife approaches to make dinner plans - just the two of them, a date between game nights.

Nearby, Martin's uncle, Joe - the man who'd prayed over him - watches with pride.

click on pic to enlarge or download.

Rabbits Bouncing Signal Spring

Click on pic to see Enlarged.

I photographed these rabbits with a canon powershot
spring rabbit

sweetest rabbit


More rabbits and a little video click HERE

some google images:

a little something to laugh:

Friday, March 19, 2010