A Dead End w paint mtodd
A dead end small by mtodd
Who you think you are, be really. Peace Love Compassion Anger Fear Judgment Basket Bucket Honor Crime Rape Integrity Grace DisGrace Selfishness Us Them Mercy Rigidity Now Now Black grey White (What do you think it means to Be Kind To Each Other?) Freedom versus Utopia Good gray Evil Sacred grey Profane Peace gray Fear Asleep grey Awake Violence gray Understanding Pride grey Humility The Art of Rape Sacrifice Innocent Real gray Deception Gift grey Seduction Truth Hope Love
Monday, July 26, 2010
Parameters. A Poem: Ani DiFranco
parameters by Ani DiFranco
thirty-three years go by and not once do you come home
to find a man sitting in your bedroom
that is
a man you don't know
who came a long way to deliver one very specific
message:
lock your back door, you idiot
however invincible you imagine yourself to be
you are wrong
thirty-three years go by
and you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
your breasts hang like a woman's
and you don't jump at shadows anymore
instead you may simply pause to admire
those that move with the grace of trees
dancing past streetlights
and you walk through your house without turning on
lamps
sure of the angle from door to table
from table to staircase
sure of the number of steps
seven to the landing
two to turn right
then seven more
sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of
memory
across your bedroom
and collapse with a sigh onto your bed
shoes falling
thunk thunk
onto the floor
and there will be no strange man
suddenly all that time sitting there
sitting there on what must be the prize chair
in your collection of uncomfortable chairs
with a wild look in his eyes
and hands that you cannot see
holding what?
you do not know
so sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your
isolation
that you are painfully slow to adjust
if only because
yours is not that genre of story
thirty-three years go by and not once do you come home
to find a man sitting in your bedroom
that is
a man you don't know
who came a long way to deliver one very specific
message:
lock your back door, you idiot
however invincible you imagine yourself to be
you are wrong
thirty-three years go by
and you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
your breasts hang like a woman's
and you don't jump at shadows anymore
instead you may simply pause to admire
those that move with the grace of trees
dancing past streetlights
and you walk through your house without turning on
lamps
sure of the angle from door to table
from table to staircase
sure of the number of steps
seven to the landing
two to turn right
then seven more
sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of
memory
across your bedroom
and collapse with a sigh onto your bed
shoes falling
thunk thunk
onto the floor
and there will be no strange man
suddenly all that time sitting there
sitting there on what must be the prize chair
in your collection of uncomfortable chairs
with a wild look in his eyes
and hands that you cannot see
holding what?
you do not know
so sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your
isolation
that you are painfully slow to adjust
if only because
yours is not that genre of story
still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of
movies
no bullets shattering glass instead fear sits patiently
fear almost smiles when you finally see him
though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three
years
and now he has let himself in
and he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares
though you think you see, in your naivete
that he is empty handed
and this brings you great relief
at the time
new as you are, really, to the idea that
even after you've long since gotten used to the
parameters
they can all change
while you're out one night having a drink with a
friend
some big hand may be turning a big dial
switching channels on your dreams
until you find yourself lost in them
and watching your daily life with the sound off
and of course having cautiously turned down the flame
under your eyes
there are more shadows around everything
your vision a dim flashlight that you have to shake
all the way to the outhouse
your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the
dead
presiding over your supposed repose
not really sleep at all
just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious
sounds
a clanking pipe
a creaking branch
the footfalls of a cat
all of this and maybe
the swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat
as you walk him step by step back to the door
having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad
idea
soft leather, big feet, almond eyes
the kinds of details the police officer would ask for
later
with his clipboard
and his pistol
in your hallway
A Poem: The Rites of Manhood by Alden Nowlan
The Rites of Manhood
It's snowing hard enough that the taxis aren't running.
I'm walking home, my night's work finished,
long after midnight, with the whole city to myself,
when across the street
I see
a very young American sailor
standing over a girl
who's kneeling on the sidewalk
and refuses to get up although he's yelling at her
to tell him where she lives so he can take her there
before they both freeze.
The pair of them are drunk
and my guess is he picked her up in a bar
and later they got separated from his buddies
and at first it was great fun to play at being
an old salt at liberty in a port full of women with
hinges on their heels, but by now he wants only to
find a solution to the infinitely complex
problem of what to do about her before
he falls into
the hands of the police or the shore patrol
—and what keeps this from being
squalid is
what's happening to him inside:
if
there were other sailors here
it would be possible for him
to abandon her where she is and joke about it
later,
but he's alone
and the guilt can't be
divided into small forgettable pieces;
he's finding out
what it means
to be a man and how different it is
from the way that only hours ago he imagined it.
Alden Nowlan
It's snowing hard enough that the taxis aren't running.
I'm walking home, my night's work finished,
long after midnight, with the whole city to myself,
when across the street
I see
a very young American sailor
standing over a girl
who's kneeling on the sidewalk
and refuses to get up although he's yelling at her
to tell him where she lives so he can take her there
before they both freeze.
The pair of them are drunk
and my guess is he picked her up in a bar
and later they got separated from his buddies
and at first it was great fun to play at being
an old salt at liberty in a port full of women with
hinges on their heels, but by now he wants only to
find a solution to the infinitely complex
problem of what to do about her before
he falls into
the hands of the police or the shore patrol
—and what keeps this from being
squalid is
what's happening to him inside:
if
there were other sailors here
it would be possible for him
to abandon her where she is and joke about it
later,
but he's alone
and the guilt can't be
divided into small forgettable pieces;
he's finding out
what it means
to be a man and how different it is
from the way that only hours ago he imagined it.
Alden Nowlan
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sweetest Fridays and Service Dogs: Finest White Lab
We love service dogs at the K-State Women's Center. Our water bowl is shaped like a big bone.
Thanks to all the Good Dogs-- Here is Ansel III, a Very Good Dog. Luckily, he came with his best friend, Deb, to visit while the cameras were rolling...
Ansel III and -- He has his own Blog!!
http://anselcci.blogspot.com/
This Blog is fun to read. With these writing skills, he should be a tutor dog...
Thanks to all the Good Dogs-- Here is Ansel III, a Very Good Dog. Luckily, he came with his best friend, Deb, to visit while the cameras were rolling...
http://anselcci.blogspot.com/
This Blog is fun to read. With these writing skills, he should be a tutor dog...
What a face! click to enlarge Fineness.
Service Dog Ansel III
Uh, somesin to chew on?
Service Dog
concern is my middle name
Fine White Lab
Great admiration for all who work with these dogs, fall in love
then-- must Part With Them!
Here. I offer you my best beefsteak tomato.
It's a Crime to Be a Woman in Iran: Stoning and Executions Updated
New story HERE: (an excerpt at bottom of post. ) UPDATE HERE: December 2010
Please read this. http://www.muslimsdebate.com/faces/shownotes.php?notesid=645
Please read this. http://www.muslimsdebate.com/faces/shownotes.php?notesid=645
amnesty interantional about this current case: http://takeaction.amnestyusa.org/c.jhKPIXPCIoE/b.6068385/k.69BE/Action_Center_Marketing/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx?c=jhKPIXPCIoE&b=6068385&aid=14503&msource=WFBF4503&cid=fbf4503
excerpt:
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, the Iranian mother who was convicted of adultery and sentenced to death by stoning, is still alive, for now – saved by an international outcry of revulsion against state barbarism. But the story isn’t over. She’s still on death row. Once the heat dies down, the regime may simply choose to hang her, instead.
“This regime has taken so many lives,” says Maryam Namazie, an Iranian human-rights campaigner who now lives in London. “There’s got to be a time when it stops.”
The Tabriz prison where Sakineh is locked up contains 200 other death-row cases, according to Ms. Namazie. Thirty-five are women who face death by stoning. One is Maryam Baagherzaade, 25, who has been in jail for the past four years. Her execution has been postponed because she got pregnant while on a short leave from prison. The regime usually waits to kill pregnant women until after they’ve had their babies.
Then there’s Azar Bagheri, 19. She was 14 when she was forced into an unwanted marriage. Her husband later pressed charges against her, claiming that she didn’t love him and that she had had a relationship with another man. She was arrested, convicted of having sex out of wedlock, and sentenced to death by stoning when she was only 15. She has been subjected to mock stoning on two occasions – buried up to her chest and threatened with death unless she co-operated. The death-row inmates include children, adolescents and 18 people who’ve been sentenced to hang for homosexuality. Last week, a 16-year-old girl killed herself in her cell to escape hanging.
Even a suntan constitutes a crime against Islam. “The public expects us to act firmly and swiftly if we see any social misbehaviour by women, and men, who defy our Islamic values,” Tehran’s police chief, Hossein Sajedinia, announced in April. “In some areas of north Tehran, we can see many suntanned women and young girls who look like walking mannequins. We are not going to tolerate this situation and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them.”
As Ms. Namazie puts it: “It’s a crime to be a woman in Iran.”
join the facebook for universal human rights: http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/facebook-and-neda-agha-soltan-angel-of.html
excerpt:
AFP: Breaking
World
Iran stoning woman 'tortured' before TV 'confession' Aug 12 08:42 AM US/Eastern
A photo of Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani provided by Amnesty International. A ...
A lawyer for an Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning has told a British newspaper she was tortured for two days before confessing on state TV to being an accomplice to her husband's death.
Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani's lawyer told the Guardian on Thursday that his client, a 43-year-old mother of two, was forced to give the interview, which was recorded in Tabriz prison where she has been held for the past four years.
"She was severely beaten up and tortured until she accepted to appear in front of camera. Her 22-year-old son Sajad and her 17-year-old daughter Saeedeh are completely traumatised by watching this programme," lawyer Houtan Kian said on the newspaper's website.
The lawyer said he feared the Iranian authorities would act quickly to carry out the death sentence, which was reportedly commuted to hanging after an international outcry against her sentence last month.
Another of her lawyers, Mohammad Mostafaie, fled Iran this month and is now in Norway after Iranian officials issued an arrest warrant for him and detained his wife.
The sentence against Mohammadi-Ashtiani was initially for "having an illicit relationship outside marriage", which drew condemnation from many countries.
In a separate interview with the Guardian last week, she claimed she had been acquitted of murder, "but the man who actually killed my husband was identified and imprisoned but he is not sentenced to death."
In the earlier Guardian interview, she attributed her treatment by the Iranian authorities to her gender. "It's because I'm a woman, it's because they think they can do anything to women in this country," she said. " AFP Story 2008
excerpt:
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, the Iranian mother who was convicted of adultery and sentenced to death by stoning, is still alive, for now – saved by an international outcry of revulsion against state barbarism. But the story isn’t over. She’s still on death row. Once the heat dies down, the regime may simply choose to hang her, instead.
“This regime has taken so many lives,” says Maryam Namazie, an Iranian human-rights campaigner who now lives in London. “There’s got to be a time when it stops.”
The Tabriz prison where Sakineh is locked up contains 200 other death-row cases, according to Ms. Namazie. Thirty-five are women who face death by stoning. One is Maryam Baagherzaade, 25, who has been in jail for the past four years. Her execution has been postponed because she got pregnant while on a short leave from prison. The regime usually waits to kill pregnant women until after they’ve had their babies.
Then there’s Azar Bagheri, 19. She was 14 when she was forced into an unwanted marriage. Her husband later pressed charges against her, claiming that she didn’t love him and that she had had a relationship with another man. She was arrested, convicted of having sex out of wedlock, and sentenced to death by stoning when she was only 15. She has been subjected to mock stoning on two occasions – buried up to her chest and threatened with death unless she co-operated. The death-row inmates include children, adolescents and 18 people who’ve been sentenced to hang for homosexuality. Last week, a 16-year-old girl killed herself in her cell to escape hanging.
Even a suntan constitutes a crime against Islam. “The public expects us to act firmly and swiftly if we see any social misbehaviour by women, and men, who defy our Islamic values,” Tehran’s police chief, Hossein Sajedinia, announced in April. “In some areas of north Tehran, we can see many suntanned women and young girls who look like walking mannequins. We are not going to tolerate this situation and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them.”
As Ms. Namazie puts it: “It’s a crime to be a woman in Iran.”
join the facebook for universal human rights: http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/facebook-and-neda-agha-soltan-angel-of.html
Neda Agha Soltan
excerpt:
AFP: Breaking
World
Iran stoning woman 'tortured' before TV 'confession' Aug 12 08:42 AM US/Eastern
A photo of Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani provided by Amnesty International. A ...
A lawyer for an Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning has told a British newspaper she was tortured for two days before confessing on state TV to being an accomplice to her husband's death.
Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani's lawyer told the Guardian on Thursday that his client, a 43-year-old mother of two, was forced to give the interview, which was recorded in Tabriz prison where she has been held for the past four years.
"She was severely beaten up and tortured until she accepted to appear in front of camera. Her 22-year-old son Sajad and her 17-year-old daughter Saeedeh are completely traumatised by watching this programme," lawyer Houtan Kian said on the newspaper's website.
The lawyer said he feared the Iranian authorities would act quickly to carry out the death sentence, which was reportedly commuted to hanging after an international outcry against her sentence last month.
Another of her lawyers, Mohammad Mostafaie, fled Iran this month and is now in Norway after Iranian officials issued an arrest warrant for him and detained his wife.
The sentence against Mohammadi-Ashtiani was initially for "having an illicit relationship outside marriage", which drew condemnation from many countries.
In a separate interview with the Guardian last week, she claimed she had been acquitted of murder, "but the man who actually killed my husband was identified and imprisoned but he is not sentenced to death."
In the earlier Guardian interview, she attributed her treatment by the Iranian authorities to her gender. "It's because I'm a woman, it's because they think they can do anything to women in this country," she said. " AFP Story 2008
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Rape: The Dilemma of Obtaining Justice, Protecting Rights. and Everyone's Privacy Choices
If you work with trauma victims--individuals who have suffered from sexual assault, battery, kidnapping, etc. You know that there is not just one way that people respond to trauma, and there is not only one right way to assist in recovery.
At Universities, many of the advocacy and counseling issues are complicated by legal issues and administrations' desires to create a safe place for all.
Because of the Post-Event Trauma associated with rape, many victims of this crime choose not to pursue Justice.
They have seen friends being dragged through a legal system that has been perverted (Whores of the Court) (Justice for Some) and have seen the statistics that indicate a poor chance for prosecutions, let alone convictions.
Unlike burglary victims, who are not asked why they had so many pretty things sitting in plain view through the garage windows, or murder victims, who are not asked why they had the gall to show off their vitality, Rape Victims are often asked, in court, why they dressed provokatively or allowed a date to kiss them.
Yes, those questions are being asked in court by the Best Defense Attorneys in 2010.
They have seen parents freak out and boyfriends accuse,
They have decided to spare a sister or brother from the vicarious trauma.
(Many erroneously believe that by pushing the trauma aside, it will go away.)
Some decide that the retaliation they will endure after reporting is not worth the feelings of futility and frustration. When victims have been ordered in court NOT to use the word, "rape" but instead use "sexual intercourse" (!) -- No wonder they assume the worst. Most students i have worked with decided not to pursue legal remedies, either through the campus policies or through the legal system.
Many were informed by police or lawyers that their case would "probably" not be picked up for trial. So in that case-- the perpetrator would be questioned once or twice, enough to let him know who reported him, then the matter would be dropped by officials.
and the crime victim lives on...
( The Kansas City Star had an excellent article about the aftermath: HERE)
So here is the Issue I'd like to hear about and ponder and get your emails and comments:
How do we turn around the reporting issues that surround Sexual Assault?
When women do show great bravery and push for justice, it is usually to "keep the guy from doing it again"--do we think that works?
When will women and men (i do not speak of girls and boys) decide they and their families will have to endure all the pain, and maybe for nothing, in order to change the culture of non-reporting?
Should we hide victims' names?
When will all sexual crime victims feel it is OK to report and be safe afterwards?
Shall we have a national day of reporting?
Here is a dilemma for you:
1. If a student who is raped decides not to pursue legal remedies, and the perpetrator rapes again, is the first victim to blame?
2. If a university employee knows the name of the perpetrator--perhaps the victim told a teacher, or an advocate, or a nurse or a custodial staff friend--and the university does not pursue the perpetrator, even though the victims has expressly said, I Do Not Want To Pursue It-- and the perpetrator rapes another student, is the first victim to blame or is the university to blame?
3. If the victim does say, yes, i want to pursue, through university policies or the legal system, this crime, please help me--and the case is never brought to trial because of lack of evidence, and the rapist rapes again, who is to blame?
4. If the rapist is convicted and he is released and rapes again, is the rehabilitation system to blame?
Keep in mind: Rapists do not rape for sex, but to assuage feelings of inferiority.
Rapists have access to consensual sex. But the act of overpowering, taking, forcing, winning, is what makes rape attractive to this selfish individual. According to the primary researacher of campus sexual assault, most rapists continue to rape until they are stopped. read and watch: (Dr. David Lisak-The Undetected Rapist)
Here are some more articles and videos:
"This next report may cause people to rethink what they believe about sexual assault on college campuses. It's commonly assumed that men who commit sexual assault made a one-time bad decision maybe clouded by too much drinking. http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=124272157 "
"SHAPIRO: But David Lisak, the psychologist, says schools put too much faith in teachable moments when they ought to treat sexual assault as a criminal matter. Dr. LISAK: These are clearly not individuals who are simply in need of a little extra education about proper communication with the opposite sex. These are predators. "
http://www.publicintegrity.org/investigations/campus_assault/articles/entry/1948/
an article by Dr. Lisak: http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/pdfs/PredatoryNature.pdf
previous posts about this issue:
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/how-do-you-talk-to-sly-bullying-selfish.html
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/all-rapists-are-serial-rapists.html
npr video of student victim's story
tell me your thoughts.
At Universities, many of the advocacy and counseling issues are complicated by legal issues and administrations' desires to create a safe place for all.
Because of the Post-Event Trauma associated with rape, many victims of this crime choose not to pursue Justice.
Unlike burglary victims, who are not asked why they had so many pretty things sitting in plain view through the garage windows, or murder victims, who are not asked why they had the gall to show off their vitality, Rape Victims are often asked, in court, why they dressed provokatively or allowed a date to kiss them.
Yes, those questions are being asked in court by the Best Defense Attorneys in 2010.
They have seen parents freak out and boyfriends accuse,
They have decided to spare a sister or brother from the vicarious trauma.
(Many erroneously believe that by pushing the trauma aside, it will go away.)
Some decide that the retaliation they will endure after reporting is not worth the feelings of futility and frustration. When victims have been ordered in court NOT to use the word, "rape" but instead use "sexual intercourse" (!) -- No wonder they assume the worst. Most students i have worked with decided not to pursue legal remedies, either through the campus policies or through the legal system.
Many were informed by police or lawyers that their case would "probably" not be picked up for trial. So in that case-- the perpetrator would be questioned once or twice, enough to let him know who reported him, then the matter would be dropped by officials.
and the crime victim lives on...
( The Kansas City Star had an excellent article about the aftermath: HERE)
So here is the Issue I'd like to hear about and ponder and get your emails and comments:
How do we turn around the reporting issues that surround Sexual Assault?
When women do show great bravery and push for justice, it is usually to "keep the guy from doing it again"--do we think that works?
When will women and men (i do not speak of girls and boys) decide they and their families will have to endure all the pain, and maybe for nothing, in order to change the culture of non-reporting?
Should we hide victims' names?
When will all sexual crime victims feel it is OK to report and be safe afterwards?
Shall we have a national day of reporting?
Here is a dilemma for you:
1. If a student who is raped decides not to pursue legal remedies, and the perpetrator rapes again, is the first victim to blame?
2. If a university employee knows the name of the perpetrator--perhaps the victim told a teacher, or an advocate, or a nurse or a custodial staff friend--and the university does not pursue the perpetrator, even though the victims has expressly said, I Do Not Want To Pursue It-- and the perpetrator rapes another student, is the first victim to blame or is the university to blame?
3. If the victim does say, yes, i want to pursue, through university policies or the legal system, this crime, please help me--and the case is never brought to trial because of lack of evidence, and the rapist rapes again, who is to blame?
4. If the rapist is convicted and he is released and rapes again, is the rehabilitation system to blame?
Keep in mind: Rapists do not rape for sex, but to assuage feelings of inferiority.
Rapists have access to consensual sex. But the act of overpowering, taking, forcing, winning, is what makes rape attractive to this selfish individual. According to the primary researacher of campus sexual assault, most rapists continue to rape until they are stopped. read and watch: (Dr. David Lisak-The Undetected Rapist)
Here are some more articles and videos:
"This next report may cause people to rethink what they believe about sexual assault on college campuses. It's commonly assumed that men who commit sexual assault made a one-time bad decision maybe clouded by too much drinking. http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=124272157 "
"SHAPIRO: But David Lisak, the psychologist, says schools put too much faith in teachable moments when they ought to treat sexual assault as a criminal matter. Dr. LISAK: These are clearly not individuals who are simply in need of a little extra education about proper communication with the opposite sex. These are predators. "
http://www.publicintegrity.org/investigations/campus_assault/articles/entry/1948/
an article by Dr. Lisak: http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/pdfs/PredatoryNature.pdf
previous posts about this issue:
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/how-do-you-talk-to-sly-bullying-selfish.html
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/all-rapists-are-serial-rapists.html
npr video of student victim's story
tell me your thoughts.
New Sunflowers and Life in the Yard: Wrens, Dragonflies with Faces, and WoodChuck?
No wonder people like to retire...
Click pics to enlarge: new 2012 woodchuck video HERE
and close ups HERE
Woodchuck?
Elongated bent around double face Sunflower
Here is a double face or elongated face sunflower. Cool.
Here is a dragonfly, wren and baby, and butterfly--the simple pleasures of an afternoon off.
Very Tasty too.
just kidding i could not eat even if dipped in chocolate.
Hungry Wren Babe
Wren feeding baby
Dragonfly with a Face
untouched photo
Dragonfly at the Garden
butterfly bush works!
black swallowtail butterfly
Bee with Expression!
Sunflower head with expressive Bee
Woody!
If you like Mother Nature too,
try to make a little thicket or plant an extra tree in your yard.
Let some natural stuff allow there to be some hiding places for the tiny beasts.
You'll always enjoy how nice it is to have animals around.
And--Then when things get tough, you can eat them.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Are You Hot Too?
My tires melted while i was driving today.
The sunflowers wore weird expressions. Even the cats asked to go for a ride.
But
after all
I am not out looking for malaria-free water for my starving babies.
(I am the rationalization queen. It makes me feel better)
Click pics to get enlarged coolment.
The sunflowers wore weird expressions. Even the cats asked to go for a ride.
But
after all
I am not out looking for malaria-free water for my starving babies.
(I am the rationalization queen. It makes me feel better)
Click pics to get enlarged coolment.
alaskan husky
sled dog in snow
siberian pup
Shiba
briard
click here for more snow dogs
the real santa
pics, except for my santa, are from The calendar or from the Daily puppy.
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