I am sad to post this nightmarish story. This is here and now, my friends. I can vouch for the truthfulness of this narrative. K was a freshman three years ago.
K’s Story
written by K three years after the crime.
I was sold by a friend to a group of army soldiers (6-7 guys).
No Justice was ever done.
Coming from a loving, conservative, protective family, this came as a complete shock and completely changed my life. I almost let it consume me: lashing out at everyone, attitude changes, grades dropped, family and friend drama. Before, I was a very bubbly, kind, and generous person who was driven by the ability to make anyone laugh. I was popular in band and in the sorority I was a member of.
Instead of letting my experience ruin my life, I have decided to use my story as therapy for me and to help someone else who may have gone through this.
*Warning* - This story might be upsetting to some people and might trigger a past memory of a traumatic event.
August 2006
5:30 p.m. -
My senior friend, A. in Marching Band asked me what I was doing that night. Since my best friend had plans that night with her boyfriend, I made plans with A. to go to a party in Manhattan. I had never been to a party before and it sounded like fun.
7:00 p.m. -
I was in the final stages of being ready to go out for a night on the town. My aunt came over to borrow some clothes/shoes so she could go have fun with her friends. She told me to be careful. I had a little bit of a worried/nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach (like something wasn't right) but I set those feelings aside because I wanted to be liked, especially by an upperclassman.
7:30 p.m. -
A. came over to pick me up and after telling me to change into a more "sexy" shirt, we were ready to hit the road. I still had that feeling, only it was growing into a sick feeling. She made sure that I had my driver's license (which I thought was weird, especially when I wasn't driving or going to a bar.) We went to the liquor store to pick some stuff up, got her alcohol, and left.
7:45 p.m. -
We were on Ft. Riley Boulevard headed out of Manhattan. I asked her where we were going because she told me that we were attending a party hosted by some of her girl friends in Manhattan. But there we were on the way to the army base? She explained to me that we were going to pick up some of her friends first because they didn't have cars.
8:00 p.m. -
We arrived at the army base and were checked in as guests. My friend was on the phone with her friends trying to get directions to the place we were meeting them at. She told me that they were girls and I could not hear them on the phone because I was on the phone with my own boyfriend. Then she started saying some stuff under her breath and acting nervous. It was like she was reassuring the person on the phone. We then arrived at a gas station and pulled up next to a guy in a red car.
8:15 p.m. -
We get out and meet the GUY in the red CAR. Remember, she told me that we were meeting girls and they didn't have cars. There was another guy in the passenger seat in the car and he got out and we sat there and talked for a little more than an hour. They seemed VERY interested in me and were obviously checking me out even after I told them I had a boyfriend. Then, A. told me to go sit in the car and those three talked for a couple more minutes. They were acting weird and awkward and then one guy asked if we could stop at a bar before heading back to Manhattan. We were off in HIS CAR.
9:30 p.m. -
We arrive at Club Rose in Junction City. The security officer didn't even ask to see my I.D. and I knew that I didn't look 18, which was the age limit. My friend asked if I wanted a drink and I figured that if she was getting it and that if it didn't matter, I would take her up on the offer. I sat at the table with the guys and my friend went to get the drinks. She took a little longer than expected and was talking a lot to the bartender. Finally she arrived with our drinks. Mine was "Sex on the Beach." That was the only thing I had to drink.
9:50 p.m. -
I started feeling woozy, like I had drank about 6 of my drinks. I was extremely drunk and I felt a little sick. My body wanted to pass out and puke everywhere but my mind was racing. Then I passed out.
? – I woke up in a cab and it was a very insane experience. It was like I was looking through a class of water or something. Everything was very blurry and kind of trippy. I just kept hearing bits and pieces of men’s voices. Then I blacked out again.
Sometime after – It was like waking up in Star Trek. There was one focus point and it was like all of the light around the focus point was blurred. I saw faces I didn’t know. I heard unfamiliar voices. There were sooo many of them. I couldn’t feel anything. I just watched them. I knew what they were doing but I couldn’t say anything or do anything about it.
The next morning….about 7:30 a.m. – I woke up feeling HOOOOORRIBLE. Everything hurt. The main things that I was worried about were the facts that both my butt and my vagina hurt sooo bad. I could not for the life of me remember what happened the night before. I was completely naked and I was frantically running around the room looking for my clothes, which were thrown everywhere (weird). There were 5 guys who either didn’t have clothes on, or just underwear, who were sprawled out around the room. It kind of looked like a hotel room and I had NO idea where we were. I found my friend in the other bed and demanded that she take me home. I finally found all of my clothes, put them on, and again demanded that my friend take me home. She definitely was taking her time and the more time she took, I remember almost having a heart attack because I was so scared and I wanted to go home and be with my parents where I knew I was safe. I love my parents but I have never been one to completely embrace them with love so it was weird that all I wanted was for my daddy to hold me. I was scared.
20 minutes later – My “friend” finally got herself together. She was ready to leave. And apparently so had all of the guys that were there. They kept making inappropriate comments about how “good” I was. They were all looking at me like I was a piece of meat. I pleaded with my friend because I was having a panic attack. I started to leave the room and I looked back. One of the guys that we met at the gas station on the army base handed my friend a large wad of money. He thanked her and told her it was worth it. ?????????????????????? I heard a train running through my head. I went numb. Why was this guy paying her money?
On the Way Home – I tried to talk to her about it. I kept shaking. I didn’t even know where to begin. She basically admitted to me what happened. She told me everything. I was so betrayed. The worst part was that I had little time to wash all of the filth off of me and I had to go straight to lunch with my family.
At lunch – I wanted to tell them. It took everything I had not to break down and cry. I was planning on telling them. When I got to the restaurant, I saw how happy they were to see me, and I froze up and brought my best happy act.
The justice period – I made a huge mistake and took a shower. I didn’t know that this kind of thing actually happens quite often and that I could do something about it. I had never been prepped on what to do when raped. I don’t think anyone should ever have to be. I got rid of pretty much all of the evidence. I kept my clothes. My best friend and I went to the Junction City Police Department since the crime happened in J.C. They laughed at me. They told me that if I wanted them to talk to my ex-friend, I would have to contact her myself and ask her to talk to the police. I gave them my story and left. Really the only help I got at all was with the K-State Advocate and all of the support from my family and friends when I came out from them.
One thing I have learned is that when something happens to you, you might not always have law enforcement to fix the problems for you. You have to deal with it yourself. I almost let it consume me. Over the next couple of years, I lashed out at my friends and family, I let drama over-run my life, my grades dropped, and eventually I got kicked out of school. Luckily, I was able to prove that I had serious issues and that was the reason I got kicked out so they reinstated me and gave me that extra chance. At that point, I realized that I had to use my anger from this experience to help others. Right after this happened, I changed my major because I couldn’t deal with people anymore. I wanted to arrest assholes that rape people. After I got kicked out of school, it was like a huge kick in the ass. I decided that instead of keeping my story inside, I would use it to build a career. I want to help girls who have been through the betrayal of having a friend sell you to someone for sex. I am using my story to help others and that’s what has pushed me to be the person I am today. I still cry and I still get that sickening feeling in my stomach from filth I cannot wash off, but in the end, I am not ashamed because my horrible, traumatic experience has made me into the person I am today.
If you need to talk, contact the counseling services at KSU (532 6927) or the K-State Women's Center, or the Manhattan Crisis Center, Inc. for resources:
http://www.k-state.edu/womenscenter/documents/feeling%20down.pdf
http://www.k-state.edu/womenscenter/documents/Need%20to%20talk%20(2).pdf
update: story in the topeka capitol: http://cjonline.com/news/local/2010-03-13/nightmare_leads_to_healing
OMG.
ReplyDeletethnks for sharing with us.
Jesus is the answer. He can heal every wound, every hurt.
ReplyDelete