Friday, July 8, 2011

Yikes! It's Sweetest Friday!

Oh yeah.
More Tucker HERE

do you know how to hide an elephant?

Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
"I married miss Right. I just didn't know her middle name was Always....
He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them.


Q. What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you'vegot nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
On the a wall in a ladies room . . .
 "My husband follows me everywhere" 

Written just below it . . " I do not"

Blonde: " Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those

expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call
from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole
year ago and I hadn't paid for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just
because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I
proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me...
that in one year
the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on
the other end, so I just hung up, and I haven't heard back from him. Guess I won that stupid argument!"

The Husband Store

 A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men  increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
 There is, however, a catch.
As you open the door to any floor you may choose  a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down  except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping centre to find a husband.  On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
 The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further
 up?" And up she goes again
 The third floor sign reads:
 Floor 3 - These men have jobs,
love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and
 help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.
 The fifth floor sign reads:  Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking,help
with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
 "Oh, mercy me! But just think.. what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
 The sixth floor sign reads:
 Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day .

Stereotypes, my Friend. Can't laugh with them, can't live without them.

Picture below: Do you see a vase or two faces??

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