Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Lines of Human Decency- From Burma's Mad Men to Ben Roethlisberger's Shame (or, " lead all souls to heaven")

Sunday Playoffs: Roethlisberger update HERE.
From Powerful Thugs
that live like kings to little men who think they and their bodyguards can take what they want: I would like to know what average men (e.g., my peers) think about the violence and disregard for other humans.  Update: Aung San Suu Kyi RELEASED !) 
Burma's Mad Men relent-more HERE.
at age 2
(Her name is Aung San Suu Kyi (pronounced Ong San Soo Chee). She was born on June 19, 1945 in Rangoon. Her father, General Aung San, is well known for his involvement in obtaining Burma's independence and his plan for democracy in Burma. He was assassinated on July 19, 1947, along with six other councilor members during an executive council meeting. Suu Kyi was only two years old then. ) more HERE 

 The issue of honor and respect  for the personal sovereignty of each individual is the ultimate question for governments; that issue broken wide open in modern times with the Amercan resolution that we are endowed by a Creator with unquestionable rights. It took some time for intelligence, common sense and emotional factors to recognize this meant ALL humans. Early learning dies hard.

As an advocate for victims of sexual violence, i ponder that The Culture must be considered along with what individual cases can teach us in our desire to address this crime and this shameful dishonorable behavior so prevlaent among our men. If we consider our American Culture, and as i see the headlines each day i want ask:
Men- where do you think the line is? Where is the honor of American men? Do we now allow behavior such as Ben Roethlisberger? How do you define--for example-- sexual consent?
  law:(Consent HERE) 
 Ben Roethlisberger's victim( speaks HERE)
Let's talk about what kind of men
other men think
finally cross the line. 
Let's look into what we accept, what we do not in our culture. Let's compare our culture to others to whom we think we are superior - and to the ideal to which we aspire.
When i ask my students, particularly the males, "do men know when they are being brutish, thuggy, crossing the line, acting badly?" 99% of them answer, YES.
What kind of men do we honor? Who are our models?
That is, among male college students asked in co-ed classes,
"when men "take" or control a woman, when they force sexual interaction, when they push and take and bully a woman until they have taken what they want-- Do They Know they are behaving badly, outside the correct guidelines?"--the college students answer, Yes, they know.

So i would ask Ben R.
-- if (God Forbid) someone acted on your mother or sister or neice or daughter --the way you act on these unknown women--would that be OK with you or would you say, No, they are acting in a way which crossed a line.
Would you say, well, that's ok because she was after all at the bingo parlour and had had several cups of beer.

Who out there knows a man of integrity?
Do you know a man of honor? Your father, a brother, a husband, perhaps a boyfriend or a neighbor-Jimmy Stewart, Santa Claus? A man of honor, integrity, a man who lives in light--
Can you imagine that man
acting as Ben Roethlisberger did?
Normal honorable men do not take an unknown woman who is out having some drinks with her friends and force her into a closet or bathroom and post friends as guards and then commit an act which
when consensual
is one of the most powerful
and consequential acts in existence.
We know the power of an act by its fruits.
The sex act can result in the strange magic of a NEW BEING--
it is not a meaningless act.

So- what is being PUSHED in our culture?
Is Ben Roethlisberger a Rapist?
what is consent?

click to enlarge
what is your culture?

who are your heroes?
ben roethlisberger

So who are your heroes??    HERE

Ok-- we are going to go through this one step at a time.

1. if a college woman enters a bar--

Ben Roethlisberger Rape Charges in KC Star--Oh wait was this the first or second set of charges/accusations?
Here is what Wendy Murphy has to say:

By Wendy Murphy     June 13, 2010

Regreb Silhteor met Julia Sandberry at an American hotel where he was staying on business. Julia was the hotel manager. After checking in, Silhteor called the front desk and asked Julia to personally deliver a fax to his room. When she arrived, he told her to put it on the desk. As she walked further into the room, Silhteor grabbed her from behind, held her down, and sexually assaulted her while she begged him to stop.

Julia reported the incident and expected Silhtoer to be arrested but eople said it was probably a cultural misunderstanding and that prosecuting Silhtoer would hurt the hotel’s business because Silhteor was a very influential man. Charges were not filed.
A year later, Silhteor was out to dinner with business associates when he noticed a young woman at a nearby table. He sent her several drinks then followed her when she appeared ill and went outside for fresh air. He led her to an isolated area where he raped her despite her incapacitated condition and repeated demands that he stop.

The woman returned to the restaurant and immediately called police who wrote in their report that the woman was visibly intoxicated and incapable of consenting. The woman was taken to a hospital where doctors treated her for injuries consistent with a violent attack. No charges were filed because the victim was drunk and Silhteor, who was a frequent and well-liked customer at the restaurant, said it was consensual.

Silhteor returned home and was asked to give an inspirational talk about the culture of his company to a group of new male employees. The men in the audience eagerly awaited advice from their experienced colleague.

Silhteor began with the basics, telling the men they had been hired by a great company that offered “opportunities for travel, excitement and tremendous wealth. You’ll have lots of women, too; any woman you want because in our country, this is what men do. I never let a woman refuse me”.

A few men looked puzzled.

“It’s not what you think. I never commit a crime because I always make sure the woman can be blamed”. He grinned and added, “One time I had a girl come to my hotel room. I knew nobody would say I attacked her because any woman who goes to a man’s hotel room wants to have sex with him”.
Several men in the audience smiled.

“Another time, a woman was so drunk I just did what I wanted. People in America don’t care about drunk women. I buy them drinks and they don’t realize I’m setting them up”. Silhteor then told his audience he might have to pay the woman a “trivial” sum to stay quiet – but “that’s OK”. “It’s like prostitution”, he explained, “only better, because we can have nice clean women instead of dirty whores on the street”.

A bunch of the men nodded; a few patted each other on the back.
Silhteor summed up his presentation by assuring his rapt audience that it was natural for men do these things. “We have the need and most women will do what we say because of who we are. But it’s good to have a lot of money, too", he smirked, "just in case they don’t”.

The men jumped to their feet applauding wildly - realizing for the first time what it meant to have this great new job.

Now if they could only figure out why a smart NFL quarterback like Regreb Silhteor insisted on spelling his name backwards.

***The underlying facts about what Ben Roethlisberger is accused of doing are essentially true. The imagined conversation he had with NFL rookies is completely made up.


  1. It seems that gang rape is being espoused as a norm in our society..? I was reflecting on the Japanese culture and how some might call them 'pervs' at some of the sexual 'things' they engage in with modern age of computers and internet, but I realized what one culture call 'perverted' is more a reflection of US than Them. American history (at least in my studies of Humanities at KSU in the 1980-90's) reflects a Puritanical notion toward sex. My short thoughts about it were that a repressed culture as ours has spawned 10's of thousands of pedophiles (typically straight men) and the internet revolution of porn where we American now can watch and see nearly anything we seek- the repression via culture is still here but we sit in our home in front of computer screens seeking out the 'perv' in us - that society forbids. These ADs you have on here indicate to me a flowing out of the Norm of College boys thinking forced sex with women is OK, now it is a mainstream fashion mag AD. Yes my musing on these cultural habits are incomplete...

  2. Boys are celebrated as sluts while women are reviled as sluts. Men are ridiciuled when pure and now so are women. In an effing handbasket, my friends. in a fat red shiney handbasket

  3. Rich and famous get away with rape. The end. Pigs.