Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Sociopath Among Us-- (part 4) How to Recognize the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

What can you do to avoid being conned, charmed, manipulated, cheated, betrayed, or WORSE?

The sociopath does not look at things the way you do.
 (unless You are a sociopath).
You are interested in being kind, nice, or smart, just, merciful, correct, logical proper, or maybe just left alone.
The sociopath looks at what needs to happen for him/her to get what s/he wants.
You are merely a means to an end.
You are a piece of living material in the world to be utilized.
You are worthless in the long run.
I am not exaggerating.
This is not judging, this is describing.
If "the end" or the goal of the sociopath is to
not be bored, or to not be alone for the moment, or to feel powerful, or sexual, or get fed, or get housed, the question for the sociopath is,
"how can this person serve me in meeting this goal?"
Unless you actually want to be a steppingstone for a person who sees you as a piece of meat, read on.

First of all, look at the behaviors and characteristics of the person you are encountering.

Here are some 101 basics: and, they don't all manifest immediately. A good Socipath will appear very normal at first. And not all of these are apparent or present in every wolf.
I will go into further detail in Part 5.

Very Charming and Nice to you at first. Could this be be the man of your dreams?
Overly complimentary and quickly “attaches” to you
(Eventually, Tells you how or with whom to spend your time, how to dress, what to think, critical of you)
Loses temper often -- Overreacts to things
Has a lot of self-pity
When hurt or crying, it is self pity that is driving the emotional display
Self pity and anger are the two primary emotions
Blames others, never accepts any blame or responsibility (except as subterfuge)
Insults, ridicules, bullies others
Tries to control others--often has little follower dogs who lap at his droppings
Threatens or wishes for revenge
Charms others, fools people, manipulative
Lies when it isn't even neccessary
Lies for fun
Lies without stopping
Lies so well everyone is fooled
Frequent or heavy use of drugs or alcohol
Wants you to drink, use drugs, or do other things out of character for you.
History of aggression or Carries a weapon
Emotions are either hidden or explosive
Cruel to animals (generally)--does have temporary favorites in people and animals that get special treatment
Ignores the rights of others (often Blatantly)
Engages in high levels of risky behaviors
Doesn't believe rules are for him/her.

Behavior in a nutshell: Superficially Charming. Does not respect limits. Explodes over small things. Jealous of friends, work and interests. Breaks dates and agreements. Unreliable.

On the other hand, YOU will begin to change over time. Instead of feeling like "This is IT! I am in love! S/he is Fabulous! Finally!!!!!!!!

 Eventually, You:
Feel like you are “walking on eggshells”
Try to anticipate his behaviors
Often hide your emotions or thoughts and Keep your opinions to yourself
Let him pick your friends
Feel afraid sometimes and Want out of the relationship
Use alcohol or drugs when you don’t want to
Feel pressured into activities
Contribute more than your share of time, money, and effort to the relationship
Are not pursuing your own dreams--your own "stuff" is getting left behind.
Feel things are moving too fast
Hide the true nature of the relationship from people you trust

More on YOU, how you rationalize it all,  and why you stay next post.

Warning: If you have experienced violence or feel the threat of violence in a relationship, seek support, even professional support, to reach the goal of moving safely out of the relationship. 

drugs, alcohol, high risk-taking and the sociopath HERE


  1. Great post thanks. Most of the people around me alot at the minute are sociopaths- and I seem to be one of the only ones to notice it!