But a moment for a break.
instead just for a minute, on this.
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet 'Sheriff' the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do,
on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
I related that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IV's in both arms.
and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.)
I told her no;
I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit both of us.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
for example, the other day Marilyn and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Marilyn called him a s---head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
He fell to his death. Not to be outdone, the Missouri fan jumped up and shouted, "THIS IS
FOR THE TIGERS!" and threw himself off the mountain. Refusing to be
Outdone by the Nebraska and Missouri fans, the K-State fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "THIS IS FOR THE K-STATE WILDCATS!" and without hesitation pushed the Kansas fan off the mountain shouting, "FLY JAYHAWK FLY!!!"